Indiana1

My wife had an infatuation with a person who worked on our house who happened to be younger than her. They both "held each others glances", and she touched him gently on his arm while talking to him every day. He eventually asked her to a club on the last day of the job. She ignored him, and she said she never entertained the idea of meeting him. She said that she was surprised that he was attracted to her. I asked her what she would have done had he made a move on her while at the house. She said if he had kissed her, she would have returned it, but she wouldn't have gone any farther.. I contend that if a married woman had returned a kiss, it probably would have gone farther. She admitted that she had a strong sexual attraction to him.

Jellybeans

There is no way of knowing whether it would have stopped or not but at least you know the truth now.

I noticed you posted this somewhere else on TAM. You need to talk to her and find out what YOU want to do.

Riverside MFT

Being attracted to another person is usually unavoidable. However, people can control whether they entertain those fantasies or not. You can't prevent a bird from flying over your head, but you can prevent it from making a nest in your hair.

Things could have easliy kept on going farther with that situation. I think you should talk to your wife about your concerns. Maybe you should also talk with her about appropriate boundaries (for both of you) with members of the opposite sex.

__________________
Brian, Marriage Counselor
My Counseling Webpage (for California Residents)
Improve My Marriage Blog

Riverside MFT

Ideas of appropriate boundaries:
- Never being alone in a home or car with a member of the opposite sex.
- No flirting with members of the opposite sex.
- Avoid re-connecting with ex girlfriends/boyfriends or ex spouses (especially on facebook or other social networking sites)

__________________
Brian, Marriage Counselor
My Counseling Webpage (for California Residents)
Improve My Marriage Blog

the guy

So far I think you got lucky, but if was me I'd keep a close eye on her and in addition show her why she choose you over him. So go give her some of that Indiana1 love.

Right now she thinks she has game so there is a possiblity that your wifes interest have peaked and may want to see if she can get more of that good stuff, so give it to her before someone else does.

This would be a good time to start your own glances, and you own flirting. Always remember your wife doesn't always want to be treated like a wife, you have to treat her like a women.

Hicks

You wife is human. She will become sexually attracted to attractive males. Don't talk to her about this any more, you will look weak. Don't pull on her to confess attraction. If you think there is attraction make sure she knows the consequences from you will be swift and harsh. In the future make sure you are the most attractive male in her sphere, and don't invite other men into situations where attraction can blossom.

the guy

Good point next time you hire a handyman, make sure he's.......lets just say experienced in his field. Those young guy are nothing but trouble.

Same goes for nannies!

daisy90

In the end it comes down to trust. You married your wife because you love her. You need to tell her your concerns. Probably tell her what you feel uncomfortable with.

F-102

Could be either way: she's just being honest with you, and you have a good woman there.

Or...

...she now has the toxic idea in her head that maybe, just maybe, she can do better than you.

4sure

You witnessed these exchanges yet you allowed the man to continue working at your home. My husband would have shut that crap down and quick. I would have gotten the "you aren't going to disrespect me" speech. In my house lets just say things wouldn't have went so smooth.

Latigo

That's what I was thinking! Indiana1, is this what you saw, or what your wife told you? Hell, if I'd have witnessed the "glance", that alone would have set me off.