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Long distance relationship communication

811 views 3 replies 4 participants last post by  Married but Happy 
#1 ·
I'm in a long distance relationship and feeling frustrated at how the communication between me and him is. Basically I feel like if I don't message him first, he won't message me.
He accused me once of playing games and waiting for him to message me first when really I have never had problems initiating contact. I just thought since my day starts earlier than his due to the time difference it made more sense to me that it would be him to text me when he was awake etc. Whenever it got to a certain time and I was reasonably sure he would be awake by then, I would send a text no problem and it would turn out he had been awake for hours. It baffled me that he would tell me I was playing games when he could have messaged me then if he was awake. I would be left feeling like he wasn't all that eager to talk to me then.
We use an app to text each other and the app tells me when a message has been read. Well sometimes it happens that I send a message and I see he's read it but I won't hear from him for hours until I message him back and he acts like I am the one who's been ignoring him and even acts annoyed that I didn't write back earlier. I recognised I tend to get clingy, but he says he doesn't mind it at all - he actually likes it.

I know it's kind of a stupid issue but it bothers me as I feel like there's no balance in this. I don't want him to be glued to the phone 24/7 of course and text me every minute; I would just like for him to show me a bit of attention and make the effort of initiating contact every now and then etc. That's how I can feel loved I suppose with the long distance and everything.

With that said, he says he loves me, he likes it when I message him, so not a matter of lack of feelings for me.
 
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#2 ·
We need more information.
How long have you been in this relationship?
Were you physically together and now you are apart? Or did you meet online and it has always been long distance?
How often do you physically see each other?
Why are you long distance? Career? Family obligations?
When will you be permanently together physically?

Posted via Mobile Devicer
 
#3 ·
Ah technology...

I remember the days of hand written notes and if you had enough friends they would clue you in as to when your girl read your note and what her reaction was. Even then, some time would pass before a note came back in the mail, perhaps a few days or more.

Kids today, they want notes back within the HOUR! Bunch of spoiled whiney punks that do not understand the meaning of patience....

Sorry, I hate smartphones!

Badsanta
 
#4 ·
LDRs are difficult at best. I have done some that worked, but don't recommend them in most situations. If you can't keep good communication going, it's not worth continuing, IMO. Break up and find someone you can see frequently - or at least monthly.
 
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