Okay. So my gay married couple friends had a stroke of luck and found a surrogate mother who said that she would have their baby if they would pay for her medical expenses. Then 3 days later she decided to demand 50 thousand dollars on top of that. I was LIVID. OF course being where we live its illegal to pay for that and my friends dont have the money. MY problem is this. I WANT to do this for them. They are WONDERFUL friends but im so scared of going through child birth again or giving up my possible child to them. What do i do? I want to help them so BAD but I dont know where to get the help to get my mind set as to where I can be a surrogate for them. Any books or advice? We are all military spouses and soldiers so I'm afraid I wont see my child I gave to them again. I want to do this for them but at the same time I want to keep in touch and have a relationship with the child. How can i?
Then pass the thought, and don't. If you already feel like you will regret it, why go through with it, don't you think your regret will turn to absolute despair when your child is involved?
If you're already having second thoughts and you have not even offered, don't do it.
I have very, very close friends who did this, and it has worked out beautifully, but the child was not at all biologically the surrogate's. It was the husband/wife's frozen embryo from prior IVF attempts. The surro only lives a couple hours away and gets to be completely involved in the child's life, like an aunt. I think it would be very difficult on her if she rarely got to see him.
Being a surrogate is a huge deal and if you are having second thoughts, then it's not the right decision for you. My aunt was a surrogate for a friend and said it was emotionally very tough, even though she had no second thoughts and did it for a close friend. You would need to be 100% ready before even considering to offer to do that to them.
Agree with above. If you are having thoughts that you would have trouble detaching, then don't do it. There should be no expectation on someone to do this; there is no shame in saying No. Posted via Mobile Device
If done correctly, when you agree to be a surrogate you will sign a bunch of legal paperwork saying that you have no rights to the child. You would also go through psychological evaluation to make sure you are ready for that.
You are already experiencing angst over this. Don't do it. There are plenty of other surrogate agencies that can help them.
I think it's a horrible idea. A child does not need two fathers who are married to each other, with a mother as a friend of both of them. I have no problem with gay marriage or gay parenting, but 3 way parenting sounds like a horrible thing for the child.
Another complication is when the child wonders about mom. Very early on, the kid will figure out that he/she didn't come from two men. Posted via Mobile Device
I'm a selfish bastard but I'd freak if my wife did this.
At least I admit it.
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