I'm certain I think my wife is cheating or thinking of cheating

heartbroken424 · 06-21-2011, 04:45 PM

not really. the problem comes in proving the truth when her brother has turned his back on me about it,I have no friends to follow her & I don't have the money to hire a PI. All I have to go on is suspicions at this point,you know?

turnera · 06-21-2011, 07:59 PM

Well, then, if I were you, I'd be getting in my car MYSELF and following her.

F-102 · 06-22-2011, 09:18 AM

Buddy, it sounds like you would be better off to stay away from bro AND sis.

heartbroken424 · 06-22-2011, 12:36 PM

I went yesterday and took a back alley behind her brother's house and sat there for a long while. Apparently she never came home last night either. Which was later confirmed when he called me and asked me to come over. He said he is getting pretty tired of her crap now of not coming home every night and just leaving him a message on facebook saying she won't be home and not telling him where she is going to be at.

Right now I'm trying to turn my sadness into anger and highly thinking about just going ahead and telling her friends and family my suspicions on why we are getting divorced and the things she has put me through.

turnera · 06-22-2011, 12:50 PM

Why would you NOT tell them? As it is now, you're just the dumb husband sitting at home waiting and hoping she will choose you.

Choose your dignity. Pack her stuff, file for separation, inform everyone that matters that she's cheating and you're filing, and see what happens.

Your marriage can survive your wife's anger. It cannot survive another man.

the guy · 06-22-2011, 01:13 PM

She most likely had someone with her...saw you and went somewere else.

For now get everything of hers over to the BIL and tell them both until she can give you 100% commitmnet that there is no reason for you to hang on to her stuff.

Schedule a joint marriage counsler and give your wife the date,location and time. let her know that you hope she shows up, but if she doesn't you know why... but still go it will do you some good.
This will look good it will help you do some of your own damage control... showing you are still attempting to work on the marriage...even if you show and she doesn't ,its still good to talk.

Twiceshy · 06-23-2011, 10:26 PM

Wow- feeling your pain. FB has opened up a whole new way for people to "begin" their affairs. I am an avid Facebook user as is my husband- but he has me completely blocked from his account - and I unfortunately saw some things on my laptop (which he was using) that broke my heart and confirmed his secret meetings with his "girl" - it has basically destroyed me - but it is not in his nature to care about stuff like that - unless its his feelings being hurt. I feel for you ...

heartbroken424 · 07-10-2011, 08:34 AM

So thought I should update on what's been going on. I have broken the news of the affair to her family and none of them were surprised or bothered by it really.

She still denies the affair but she has said enough already for me to know without question it's going on. I know enough to know that she has went on to actually pursue the relationship and spends more time at his place than her brothers. I even found out that once she took my car picked him up and they went to the cemetery in my car! Now that really made me mad. Something else she denies happening but one of her friends came forth and told me about it. From what I hear that happened about 2 weeks before we separated.

Now I gotta another issues that is really making me mad which is her making statements on her FB calling me a controlling d*ck and that I can eat a d*ck and whatnot. As a matter of fact I told her just yesterday that I'm tired of her going around talking crap on me and trying to victimize herself. Maybe I should take that to my attorney as well. We was trying to do it peacefully without getting lawyers too deeply involved but she apparently wants to turn this nasty even though she says she doesn't.

Seriously? I've been a good husband taking care of her all these years and she goes and does this kind of bs when she's the one who caused it and I'm the a-hole? How does that work!? childish as heck! My plans are this week to actually send her a certified letter giving her a date and time to come pick up her stuff because in reality on that kind of stuff she is on my time and I'm not going to let her decide when she's going to do something.

F-102 · 07-10-2011, 09:25 AM

She is in the fog. So of course, you are now the bad guy in all of this, it's your fault that she had an affair, and by now, she has rewritten history so that you were never the loving, wonderful man she married-all along, you were the abusive, controlling schm*ck that ruined her life.

By all means-take her down!

turnera · 07-10-2011, 09:23 PM

You ARE printing out everything she writes, right? All her texts, emails, FB posts? You're gonna need it in court.

Who else did you expose to? Do they work together?

heartbroken424 · 07-12-2011, 06:37 PM

Yes I am. I am keeping everything. The slander. I know enough to know that the new bf is 38 and she's 26 and his name. Even at that she still doesn't own up to the cheating.

I told her family. I told friends. I even emailed the friends I didn't know and of course they already knew and support it because I'm such an a-hole. They do work together but from what I can tell the company doesn't care because apparently the supervisor smokes pot on the job with other co workers and is the "touchy" type from what I have found out recently from my wife.

I've even stopped talking to my brother in law. As I've said at first he told me about the other guy then later he went on saying that he doesn't really know. So I found out not long ago from an accidental slip from him that the other guy had been allowed to stay the night at his place a few times. So I just don't talk to him either if I can help it

turnera · 07-12-2011, 07:06 PM

Do not trust ANYTHING your wife says about her work. If her boss smokes on the job, then report that AND the affair to her boss's boss.

Not that I want you to keep trying. The whole family is disgusting, including your wife.

Count your blessings you found out now and divorce her. Find someone who understands what marriage means.

heartbroken424 · 07-13-2011, 05:51 AM

To be honest I'm not trusting anything that comes from my wife at all anymore. I can't really.

I even got my invitation to the family reunion taken back. Not that I planned on going anyway. I figure it's just her way of trying to make sure I'm not there because she plans on bringing the new bf to it. I'm just trying to move forward at this point and do what I need to do to protect myself through all of this. I meet with my attorney later this week.