My father is an alcoholic (possibly sober now but not 100% sure...he did go to rehab a couple of years ago) and I am a grateful member of Al Anon. I have been working hard on my recovery through al anon and counseling.
Situations will come up where I have anxiety about my dad possibly drinking, traumatic memories or triggers and my husband is unable to be supportive. He will raise his tone of voice and start shooting out quetions like "i dont even know if he is an alcoholic" "you say these horrible things about what he's done but I've never seen it" "why don't we just never talk to him again."
Basically, he puts me in a place where I am having to prove to him that my dad is an alcoholic. I refuse to play that game b/c it is unhelpful in my recovery. All I know is that my dad's drinking and behavior greatly affected me. Other adult children of alcoholics out there I am sure realize that growing up with that leaves you with deep wounds and PTSD even.
I love my dad and I am able to have a good relationship with him now. I am able to detach with love, but there are times where I want to my husband to hold me and tell me he is there for me and tell me he realizes my pain.
DH has read books, we are in couples counseling...he has even gone to an Al Anon meeting with me. He thinks it's all BS. He himself is not an alcoholic.
Please help. I can't live my life with him kicking me while I am down. It is re-traumatizing me. He is so great and wonderful in so many other ways.
Situations will come up where I have anxiety about my dad possibly drinking, traumatic memories or triggers and my husband is unable to be supportive. He will raise his tone of voice and start shooting out quetions like "i dont even know if he is an alcoholic" "you say these horrible things about what he's done but I've never seen it" "why don't we just never talk to him again."
Basically, he puts me in a place where I am having to prove to him that my dad is an alcoholic. I refuse to play that game b/c it is unhelpful in my recovery. All I know is that my dad's drinking and behavior greatly affected me. Other adult children of alcoholics out there I am sure realize that growing up with that leaves you with deep wounds and PTSD even.
I love my dad and I am able to have a good relationship with him now. I am able to detach with love, but there are times where I want to my husband to hold me and tell me he is there for me and tell me he realizes my pain.
DH has read books, we are in couples counseling...he has even gone to an Al Anon meeting with me. He thinks it's all BS. He himself is not an alcoholic.
Please help. I can't live my life with him kicking me while I am down. It is re-traumatizing me. He is so great and wonderful in so many other ways.