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1K views 5 replies 5 participants last post by  Vorlon 
#1 ·
Okay for this topic it's going to be quite a interesting one. As stated in my title for this thread, I need help from anyone willing to offer constructive advice.

1.
Are woman and men literally meant to mislead each other? The reason why I say this is because I've read so many woman(assumed) on here that always spout that they'd rather a man be honest and upfront about your feelings. But in my experience, woman take that type of vulnerability and run with it. By the time they're finished you feel like the literal life has been drained out of you. Note this is a real question and no hidden agenda to bash women or anything.

2.
How to deal with emotions? Growing up I was taught a man was strong and while we do pursue woman or 'chase skirts' ultimately the goal was to get the woman to chase us or need us. But unfortunately and probably from growing up a woman dominate house with literally only one male figure in my life I tend to have to emotional template typically associated with women. I want my partner around me majority of the time, I'm not really interested in having multiple partners and is waaaay more interested in finding that right one. And finally once I've found the person that I think to be the right one I become clingy and needy. Luckily, I'm bi-polar so growing up without meds I've learned a lot of my own signals when I'm descending into my 'crazier' mentalities so forcing myself to not ACT clingy is kind of easy when compared to other problems I have.

3.
How do I get over my subconscious hatred for women? Even though I'm completely hetero, I've noticed that I have an almost innate hatred of women. I know it stems from the way I've been treated and betrayed in the past and usually knowing is half the battle but I haven't been able to move past simply knowing that. Coupled with the fact that I'm probably a bitter person because of those things too. But also keeping in mind I tend not to show anyone besides my mother my true emotion usually just smiling **** off so it's not like I'm going around being a **** to every woman I see but after getting cheated on and lied too or left for the common thug down street I've come to notice I get a sick sense of joy when these same females future relationships fail and ultimately my harboring of the hatred can not be healthy on any level.
 
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#2 ·
Okay for this topic it's going to be quite a interesting one. As stated in my title for this thread, I need help from anyone willing to offer constructive advice.

1.
Are woman and men literally meant to mislead each other? The reason why I say this is because I've read so many woman(assumed) on here that always spout that they'd rather a man be honest and upfront about your feelings. But in my experience, woman take that type of vulnerability and run with it. By the time they're finished you feel like the literal life has been drained out of you. Note this is a real question and no hidden agenda to bash women or anything.
No, men are women are not meant to mislead each other. Some do. Some, if not most, do not.

Do you mislead women?
2.
How to deal with emotions? Growing up I was taught a man was strong and while we do pursue woman or 'chase skirts' ultimately the goal was to get the woman to chase us or need us. But unfortunately and probably from growing up a woman dominate house with literally only one male figure in my life I tend to have to emotional template typically associated with women. I want my partner around me majority of the time, I'm not really interested in having multiple partners and is waaaay more interested in finding that right one. And finally once I've found the person that I think to be the right one I become clingy and needy. Luckily, I'm bi-polar so growing up without meds I've learned a lot of my own signals when I'm descending into my 'crazier' mentalities so forcing myself to not ACT clingy is kind of easy when compared to other problems I have.
What you describe here are not female emotional traits. They are traits that some people, men and women have.
3.
How do I get over my subconscious hatred for women? Even though I'm completely hetero, I've noticed that I have an almost innate hatred of women. I know it stems from the way I've been treated and betrayed in the past and usually knowing is half the battle but I haven't been able to move past simply knowing that. Coupled with the fact that I'm probably a bitter person because of those things too. But also keeping in mind I tend not to show anyone besides my mother my true emotion usually just smiling **** off so it's not like I'm going around being a **** to every woman I see but after getting cheated on and lied too or left for the common thug down street I've come to notice I get a sick sense of joy when these same females future relationships fail and ultimately my harboring of the hatred can not be healthy on any level.
Do you think of all women as basically one entity… like an Aspin forest perhaps? You know they look like different trees but they are really one large plant? It sure sounds like you do since you hate all women, and hold all women responsible for things that some women have done. That’s profoundly sad. But the fault is with you, not with all women.

Do you accept racism? Are entire races of people good, bad, intelligent, stupid, whatever based on their race? What you describe as your hate of women is akin to racism… except it’s an entire gender, 50% of all people on earth. Think about that for bit.

Women are individuals. I am no more responsible for what some women did to you then you are responsible for some awful things that some men have done to me. How would you feel if I hated you because of something some guys did to me? Are you responsible for that? Should I hate you and all men for that? If not why? This is a serious question. I’d love to see your response.

The fact is that there are good and bad people out there of both genders. If you have ended up in relationships with women who have mistreated you, your woman picker is broken. Have you considered getting into counseling to help you put things in a healthier perspective?
 
#4 ·
I was brought up in a single parent household, dad died when I was nine. I also picked up many "feminine" traits. You need to chill out and put time into yourself.

Many men go through a period of hating women, mainly through being hurt in relationships. Once you understand how biology and phsycology affect us, your resentment should lessen.

Have you read any books etc on the subject?
 
#6 ·
Same here. Dad died when I was 8, no siblings and mom never remarried. picked up many traits from my mother that I'm still having to deal with and that have caused problems through the years.

From personal experience a boy needs a man in his life from early on to show him what it means to be a man. Single mothers do the best they can and this is not a slight just an observation that children need both parents in the house.

Of course the there are exceptions: Abuse, violence, and others but we are hard wired to learn from and emulate the Ying and the yang. We need good healthy examples of both the masculine and the feminine to grow up balanced and healthy.
 
#5 ·
Woman here, 35 years ongoing married (1st time marriage for my husband and I), career woman, and 57 years old. In answer to your question: no - men & women are not meant to misled each other. My husband and I do not do this; hence, we are still married.

How old are you? Sometimes, age has something to do with your bitterness of women because of some levels of rejection. My husband felt this way when he was a young man. He liked pretty women and those he associated with were narcissistic. Nevertheless, his experiences were not positive. He said that he took a gamble with me as I seemed to be kind. He was cautious with me as he also classified me as a "pretty girl". I was brought up in the academic world, so intelligence was given more importance than the outer shell.

You need to work on your attitude to move towards a positive outlook. Positive people are attractive. Attractive people are those who are comfortable in their own skin. Build your self-esteem. See a psychologist to help sort out your mindset. This might help.
 
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