06-11-2011, 08:14 PM
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Southern California
| | I Thought 'Retirement' Was Part of the Golden Years?
My husband and I have been married 32 years. To say it's been a 'happy' marriage, is a stretch. Our three adult children are on their own; and we have six beautiful grandchildren. We USED to have a life...until my husband retired.
Our social, emotional and financial status has changed DRAMATICALLY. A 'downward' spiral would be an understatement. The downward spiral started two years ago this month. My husband's 96-year old mother passed away and my husband fell into a deep depression. Within this time, he decided that he would opt on an early Pension retirement (he had 32 service years in a local union). We are only in our early 50's. I became a homemaker/child care provider in 2009 (more like grandma just watching the grandkiddoes). We haven't been on a vacation in two years, we haven't gone to dinner in six months, we are down to sex maybe once/twice every other week. Of course, my husband expects me to perform my intimate duties whether I feel like it or not. Well, we haven't been intimate now in three weeks. My husband and I are together 24/7..and guess what? I can't take it! We have sacrificed so much as our income has dramatically changed. We have made too much of a change. We no longer have lives... I am growing so resentful; my demeanor is always ugly and negative. I find myself crying at night and waking up crying in the morning. I can't even remember when the last time my husband even told me anything special as 'I love you', 'You look nice'.
Every day I ask myself is this part of the golden years? If so, you can take them back! I'll wait on the golden years!