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Is it too late to rebuild?

1K views 9 replies 9 participants last post by  lifeistooshort 
#1 ·
Hi.

My wife and I get on fantastically. We've been together 14 years and married for 11 years.

We have just one issue that continues to revolve in an endless cycle of events which I do not wish to disclose at this moment.

Due to this, last week I lost it big time. I said an awful lot of awful things that really shouldn't have been said at all - the worst was that if this event continued I would probably have an affair - I also explained why I said this.

We frequently have the same row and I often contemplate walking away. However, I still love my wife very much and I KNOW that I will be no happier without her in my life. Each time I walk away, I'm back within hours or days. I cannot make a clean break. But I know the guilt of sleeping with another woman would ensure I never come back home. From experience, my first marriage ended this way - Following a one night mistake I actually left the country for 9 months as I could not face my partner. Guilty and not proud.

I have always calmed down relatively quickly and learned to just get on with our life within a couple of days and attempt to rebuild each time. My personal happiness is a roller coaster and it really takes its toll on my health.

But something has changed. Its been a week now and I am no longer in the frame of mind to rebuild. There is very little trust left in our marriage and my respect for her has diminished.

All the promises in the world from her mean nothing to me anymore - I know it's only a matter of time until the same problem occurs. It is a major problem, hence it cannot just be brushed aside.

I cannot win. I've tried everything in the past to resolve this one issue - it will never be resolved.

So with zero trust, little respect and 99% probability our problem will never be resolved, is it too late for our marriage?

Thanks
 
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#3 ·
Since you mention respect and trust I'm guessing she has cheated on you or is flirting/texting/talking to someone else. If that is the case I don't see how you can regain trust and respect. Why do you need to have affair? Get a divorce and move on. Leaving and coming back and thinking about have affairs is not a good marriage.
 
#9 ·
Is she a cannibal and trying to get you to eat your neighbors? Is that it? You don't think the fava beans go with Mrs. Wilkins from down the street?

Or is it something worse? OMG, DID SHE VOTE FOR A REPUBLICAN!?!
 
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