Talk About Marriage banner
Status
Not open for further replies.

Limitatoins

932 views 5 replies 4 participants last post by  Rayloveshiswife 
#1 ·
My husband and I have been together for five years (since we were 18), and married for one. When we got together we lived in Oregon and everything was great! Our families got along well and our siblings were even friendly with each other. After a year in Oregon my husband's family decided to move to Arizona and live closer to his grandmother because she told everyone she was ill and dying. (found out when we moved here that was NOT the case.) Anyway I have asthma, lupus and a sun allergy. and had my illnesses under control in Oregon, because where we lived wasn't bad, never got to hot and there was almost always some clouds in the sky. But I followed my husband without question because it'd be good for him to be near his family while he finished his chemo treatments. In the last year my asthma has went from benign to Severe due to the extreme heat. It gets up to 120 here in the summer and it's always sunny so I'm constantly covered in rashes. I go to school full time doing my pre-reqs for nursing and work full time at and Insurance adjusters office and he is currently certified in Phlebotomy (Blood sucker), but works part time at a clothing store because he's scared to do what he's trained for.
I mentioned moving back to Oregon to be closer to my family and get my health back under wraps and he lashed out. Saying I am unreasonable and that I need to be away from my family because it'll do me good, I see them too much anyways. (We see my family once a year if we can afford it)
I come from a very tight knit family. My sister, brothers and I are extremely close and talk to each other a few times a week with Facetime.

We live right next door to his grandparents (which we did because we thought his grandma was ill and it'd be easy for us to help take care of her), his sister lives a block away and his parents live just up the road. We see his family constantly! I am trying to get him to see how he's being unfair telling me I see my family too much and it's good for me not to be near them, or go somewhere I can get my health under control. I've been hospitalized three times in the last year and half for my asthma. My parents are beyond mad at this point and ready to fly down and drag me home. but I dont' want to throw away my marriage.
 
See less See more
#2 ·
How did he "lash out' at you and why would he be so upset over the fact that you want to move back to Oregon where you can get your health under control?

I think your physical well-being is really important. Does he not realize the effect your current location is having on your health?

Also, why is he not upset about your grandmother lying about her condition?
 
#3 ·
He threw a screaming fit (thanks to his mother letting him and his sister use that to get their way). He knows exactly what my health stance is, as he has been to my weekly doctor's appointments with me. My doctor even told him that I need to be somewhere that's less stressful on my body so that I can get it under control as the heat is very stressful on my lungs.

According to my husband his family may do things incorrectly, but it's all with 'love' and so he can't be upset about it and I shouldn't be upset either. As he said, "There's nothing we can do about it, just let it go, she's old and will do what she wants."
 
#5 ·
Yeah, honestly, if you have serious health conditions, YOU need to do whats best for you. It sounds like that environment is killing you slowly..or is at least torturous to your health and well-being.

How does your husband not see that?
What is his response to your health concerns and your trips to the hospital?
Does he think you're making it up?
What legitimate reason does he have to have NOT move back and stay in AZ with his deceitful, manipulative grandma? Sure, it would be all fun and games if she lied to get you down there and you enjoyed living there, but your husband seems to be playing this off as "Oh, she's just my gramma, God love her...she's ornery, lol." but gets mad when you want to leave! That's pretty stupid.
I would move back asap.
 
#6 ·
It sounds like your husband is choosing his family over you and is placing you in harms way in the process. In my opinion it would be good for you both to move somewhere friendly to your condition that is away from both sides of the family. That way you can concentrate on the two of you building a life together free from the distractions of either of your families.

Either way, your husband needs to choose between his family and you.
Re'
Posted via Mobile Device
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
You have insufficient privileges to reply here.
Top