My problem is: My wife doesn't seem to want to spend any time with me. In this married life, I'm spending all my evenings alone, mostly bored in front of the tv. Where is my wife then? She's not working, drinking, or out with friends. She's in bed, beside our son. She's not ill, or disabled or anything. She just prefers it this way. It seems she's not interested in me any more.
We've been together for 4 years; living together for 3 years since we married. This didn't change much in our relationship, which was generally good. But then, we had a baby. Now our relationship is practically over.
There's nothing wrong with our son; he's healthy, sweet and pretty smart. I have a wonderful relationship with my son and we spend quality time together every day But my wife can't relax. During the daytime, life is extremely stressful in this home; she's all the time busy with him or cleaning the house, and demanding my help in this all the time, giving me orders to do little jobs. I already do a lot to help without her needing to ask. There's no time for 'us'. And in the evening, when our son's in bed, she is too. His cot is beside her bed in his bedroom. She always goes to sleep beside him, at the same time as him - around 8pm. Also during daytime naps she goes to bed beside him or spends the time cleaning. I sleep in what used to be our bedroom.
She doesn't work, and when I come back from work she often leaves our son with me and goes upstairs for an hour or two. Recently she said she was going to the toilet and when I went upstairs an hour later I found her asleep. It was 5pm. I've asked why she doesn't want to spend evenings with me. The reply is always something like "she's just so tired now". She insists that she needs to sleep in his room even though he is nearly 20 months old and we have a baby monitor radio.
As you might imagine, there's also almost no sex whatsoever. Once in the last 6 months. The last few times we have had sex it was in our bedroom and then as soon as it finished she went back to our son. Not very enjoyable. The last time she offered sex, at the point where we were getting started, she started to talk to me about money and demanded to see a bank statement to make sure I hadn't been spending money without her knowing about it. I didn't feel like sex that night, not surprisingly.
Everything suggests that she's not interested in my company any more, and the only reason she hasn't thrown me out of the house yet is that she needs my help in taking care of our boy. I'm not a husband, I'm a servant.
I can't even talk with her about this subject any more, because every time I bring it up, she gets upset and starts attacking me, that I should appreciate how hard she works and that I should stop behaving like a teenager and be the “man of the house”.
I often consider leaving. But I don't really want to lose her; I love her! But on the other hand, I feel like I've lost her already! What I really want is to get her back. But what can I do?
We've been together for 4 years; living together for 3 years since we married. This didn't change much in our relationship, which was generally good. But then, we had a baby. Now our relationship is practically over.
There's nothing wrong with our son; he's healthy, sweet and pretty smart. I have a wonderful relationship with my son and we spend quality time together every day But my wife can't relax. During the daytime, life is extremely stressful in this home; she's all the time busy with him or cleaning the house, and demanding my help in this all the time, giving me orders to do little jobs. I already do a lot to help without her needing to ask. There's no time for 'us'. And in the evening, when our son's in bed, she is too. His cot is beside her bed in his bedroom. She always goes to sleep beside him, at the same time as him - around 8pm. Also during daytime naps she goes to bed beside him or spends the time cleaning. I sleep in what used to be our bedroom.
She doesn't work, and when I come back from work she often leaves our son with me and goes upstairs for an hour or two. Recently she said she was going to the toilet and when I went upstairs an hour later I found her asleep. It was 5pm. I've asked why she doesn't want to spend evenings with me. The reply is always something like "she's just so tired now". She insists that she needs to sleep in his room even though he is nearly 20 months old and we have a baby monitor radio.
As you might imagine, there's also almost no sex whatsoever. Once in the last 6 months. The last few times we have had sex it was in our bedroom and then as soon as it finished she went back to our son. Not very enjoyable. The last time she offered sex, at the point where we were getting started, she started to talk to me about money and demanded to see a bank statement to make sure I hadn't been spending money without her knowing about it. I didn't feel like sex that night, not surprisingly.
Everything suggests that she's not interested in my company any more, and the only reason she hasn't thrown me out of the house yet is that she needs my help in taking care of our boy. I'm not a husband, I'm a servant.
I can't even talk with her about this subject any more, because every time I bring it up, she gets upset and starts attacking me, that I should appreciate how hard she works and that I should stop behaving like a teenager and be the “man of the house”.
I often consider leaving. But I don't really want to lose her; I love her! But on the other hand, I feel like I've lost her already! What I really want is to get her back. But what can I do?