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Feeling resentful with husband traveling a lot for work

8K views 95 replies 21 participants last post by  aine 
#1 ·
Hi everyone,

I'm new here and am looking for a bit of advice. My husband and I have been together for a total of 15 years and I love him more than anything. I'd say that, overall, we have a very good, solid relationship. This past January, he got a promotion at his job. You would think that would be a good thing. This position involves traveling all over the country. When he took this position, he was told that he would travel no more than twice per month and that he would have at least a full week off from traveling in between trips. Well, in April, he was traveling for 3 weeks straight, only getting to come home on the weekends. He did have the first 3 weeks of May off from traveling, which was great, but he's traveling this week, will be home tomorrow night for the weekend, but then he is leaving again on Monday and will be gone for 2 WEEKS STRAIGHT. I literally will not see my husband for 2 whole weeks. I'm having a very hard time with that.

Another issue that I'm having is that he was supposed to have gotten a raise with this "promotion" and he was being changed from hourly to salaried. Well, his salary is the exact same amount he made in his old position when he was hourly. Actually, it's even a bit less because he doesn't get overtime anymore, yet he's working A LOT more hours now and is having to travel a significant amount and be away from home. He and several other people who also got this promotion have told management that they need raises, but it still hasn't happened. It was supposed to happen almost 6 months ago. He is basically getting screwed...big time. I feel like his company lied to him and this whole "promotion" was a total bait and switch. This is a huge, multi-billion dollar company, so it's not that they can't afford it!

When he was first offered this promotion back in January, he talked to me about it. I really wasn't too crazy about the idea of him traveling, but I really do want him to advance his career as much as possible and we both agreed that this would be financially beneficial to us because he would get a raise (which still hasn't happened) and it could very likely lead to even greater opportunities for him at his company in the future. I wanted to be as supportive as possible, so I agreed that he should take the promotion.

I am now starting to feel a bit resentful when he travels all over the country and leaves me at home all alone (I work from home full-time) to take care of the house, our pets, run all the errands, and make sure all the bills get paid all by myself. Plus, I am downright lonely when he is away for extended periods of time, like he's about to be these next 2 weeks. It wasn't supposed to be like this at all. I'm also extremely frustrated that he hasn't gotten one single raise yet and it's been 6 months since his "promotion." He could be at home and making the exact same amount of money, actually even more with overtime, which he now no longer gets being salaried.

Every time I bring up my concrens, my husband gets defensive and we end up arguing. He seems to feel like I'm attacking him whenever I ask him when he's getting his raise and he just won't even hear me out. I know that he loves his job and everything, which is great, but this is getting ridiculous and is becoming really unfair to me when I'm left home alone while he travels all over the country. He's about to leave for New Mexico for 2 whole weeks, which will be the longest we've ever been apart and I'm dreading it.

I know that I wouldn't feel this way, at least not nearly as much, if he would just get his raise and was being paid a fair salary for all of this extensive traveling and extra hours he has to work while on the road. He has to work 9-10 hours and then go back to his hotel and work even more. I think that is total crap. It would at least be worth it if he was making more money. He is getting screwed so badly and I feel like he doesn't see it as clearly as I do and it just causes us to argue whenever I bring it up. We had a pretty big argument on the phone tonight about it. He even said "all you care about is money." That's not the case at all. I just want him to get the raise that he was promised 6 months ago. I also think that they need to make it retroactive. The raise was the main reason we both agreed that he would take this position.

Am I justified in feeling the way I do? Should I be approaching this differently? I am getting really tired of not even being able to discuss this with him in a calm manner. He just automatically gets so defensive whenever I try to talk about it and I don't really think he fully understands the effect that all of his traveling has on me and how lonely, resentful, and stressed out I feel when he's away this much. I really don't want to feel this way, but I do. I also can't stand seeing my husband being totally shafted by his employer.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
 
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#3 ·
Yes you are justified in the way you feel about this.

His company is lied to him and is taking advantage of him.

I also work for a huge company. They play those same games. When I first started with him even the salaried employees got overtime. Then they stopped paying overtime. They expect us to still work long hours .. 45 to 60 a week. But now we are only paid for 40 hours. The game they play is that legally they cannot ask us to work more than 40 hours since they only pay for 40. So they say we don't have to work more than 40 but our work has to get done. Cute....

What I'm thinking is that the company would argue that they did not lie.. he's getting paid more per hour on a 40 hour a week basis. But hey... all those extra hours are his choice.. right? This is exactly why the companies push to get people on salary.

Can your husband go back to his previous position? Or is that now no longer available for him?

While you are justified in your feelings, my take on what you said is that your husband is not happy about this either. He was lied to and basically tricked into this. He might not be able to move back to what he did before. A lot of companies will not go for that.

I think that while it bothers you, you need to let him deal with this. Your fighting with him over it is not helping. What's he going to do? Quit his job? In this economy that's economic suicide.

There are things that he can do, like pay the bills. It can all be done remotely. So maybe figure out how to get him more involved in that. Perhaps there are other things that he can do remotely too so he participates in life you two have.

Is there any way that you can travel with him sometimes?
 
#4 ·
He doesn't want to look for a new job. He really loves his job and doesn't want to have to start over someplace new. Plus, his current job does pay better than most other companies in our area and the benefits are great. I honestly don't want him to leave his job either. I just want his company to keep the promises that they made back in January regarding the raise that would come with this promotion and the frequency of traveling. As of right now, they haven't made good on either of those promises and it's definitely starting to cause a bit of a strain on our relationship.
 
#5 ·
I could occasionally travel with him if I wanted to, but we would have to pay for me on our own, which can be pretty expensive depending on where he's going. He has a corporate credit card to pay for his airfare, car rental, hotel room, and meals. I also wouldn't want to have to put our 3 dogs in the kennel if I were to travel with him. I have to work as well. We do talk and text a lot while he's away and occasionally video chat via FaceTime when he's in his hotel room, but I still feel really lonely when he travels and I am still very upset about how his company totally lied to him about the raise and how often he would have to travel. He's been traveling more than what they said he would, and that's just not okay.

His boss did tell him a couple of weeks ago that there is a very good chance that he will get another promotion either in June or July, which would be a definite raise, but, like I told him, I'll believe it when I see it.
 
#6 ·
Then let him handle it.

What is you griping at him and fighting with him going to accomplish except to ruin your marriage even more? It might also make him more willing to travel.

Make the best of the time you do have together. Maybe ask him how you can support him through this. And then tell him how he can support you through it.

Do you two talk daily when he's traveling? When my husband used to travel a lot we had nightly phone dates. There is Skype as well.
 
#7 ·
I'm a salaried employee like your husband. I take a lot of work home. I work on weekends without pay on these projects. We have not received any raises for the past five years. The university I worked for is under attrition. There are instances when employees are harassed if they complain. There are ways that management can make your job unbearable. There are many applicants for any jobs in the campus.

We just received a notice that our medical insurances will be increased by 3% on July 1st. Last year, our medical insurances were raised by 2%. I am taking less pay from the previous years that I have been employed.

I am the breadwinner. My husband's job cannot cover all the cost of our expenses. If the university will again send me to research conferences all over the country, I will have to do it to survive economically. My husband mentioned about the lack of pay raise in my job, just one time. I reminded him that we should be grateful that we are not struggling financially. I also told him to give me praise rather than criticize me for my hard work. He understood and knowing him, he will not do this again.

You need to stop reminding your husband that he was deceived in his new job regarding his pay. He knows this. You will just aggravate the matter. I'm sure that if he has a chance to change jobs he will. It is best for you to keep yourself busy and support your husband on doing his job. He will need an appreciative wife in these difficult economic times.
 
#8 ·
Yes, we do talk daily when he's away. We talk on the phone, text, and FaceTime. I just can't help but feel resentful when he's gone for 2-3 weeks at a time, leaving me with all the responsibilities of running the house and leaving me all alone. Like I said, he was initially told that he would only travel twice per month at the very most, no more than one week at a time with at least one week travel-free in between trips, which I would be 100% fine with, but it hasn't been that way at all. It has been much more than that and being away for two weeks straight is just unacceptable to me, especially without a raise.
 
#9 ·
I do constantly let him know that I am very proud of him for how hard he has worked and all of the praises that he has received from many of their clients. I am completely supportive of him in that regard and I want him to do well and advance his career and he knows this, but I am definitely not okay with what his company has done (more like hasn't done). They flat out lied and are taking full advantage of him. I'm the type of person who can be brutally honest and have no problem telling him how I feel. I have told him that it's not his fault and that I am not blaming him for anything, but that he does need to stand up for himself and go to the top if he has to.
 
#11 ·
I do constantly let him know that I am very proud of him
Keep in mind that it takes 13 good things said to negate one negative thing said.

Think of it like a piggy bank. Each good thing you say deposits one dollar coin in the piggy bank. Each negative thing withdraws 13 one dollar coins from the piggy bank. It does not take much negativity for the piggy bank to end up not just empty but in the negative.

The Marriage Builder material calls this the "love bank". It talks about how this is how couples end up growing apart and falling out of love. The lower the love bank gets, the lower the bond and feelings of love.

And yes your husband's travel and work schedule are negatives too... so they withdraw from your love bank and can lead to you falling out of love for him.

It's a two way street.

Hopefully he will come to a point that he realizes that this is not going to work and he does something so that he can change jobs, internally or with another company.
 
#10 ·
There are situations where a person cannot stand up for themself at work. There are companies that do not give a rats behind about their employees.

While I have what is considered a great, high paying job, I work for one of those companies. When a person complains we are reminded that our company can hire engineers in other countries for a fraction of what we are paid here. We are reminded that we are supposed to just be thankful that we still have a job. Many of our benefits have been taken away. Our health insurance sucks now (thanks to Obamacare), we no longer get over time or comp time, raises are so small that they don't count. We went several years with no raises. We now have to give most of our work to people in other countries who take 3-4 of them to the job that one of us used to do.. but hey they each cost less per hour.

My point? The company your husband works for probably does not care that they lied to him. They are most likely not going to listen to him if he stands up for himself. If he goes to the top he will most likely get branded as a trouble maker. He probably knows this and that is why he has not done it.

The only way that he could probably pull it off is if he had another job lined up to jump ship if raising a stink back fired.

I'm not advocating that a he just give up and not do anything, I'm just trying to talk about the reality of working these days. Roselyn gave a pretty good description of this from her job as well.

You have told him your feelings about the crap his company pulled on him. You have told him what you think he needs to do. Nagging him any further about his is only going it hurt your marriage.

What percentage of your joint income do you earn?
 
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#12 ·
If he is getting valuable experience, it is probably worth it to hang on and then in 6 mos. or a year, see what other companies might offer him. If your husband secures a better job a year from now, his current company might then cough up more money and better treatment.
 
#13 ·
My husband's situation is quite similar. The main difference is he has not yet been given the job title even though its been over 2 years. Therefore he is still hourly (although he did get a raise) and therefore he gets boatloads of OT because of his travel. He was told they would hire more people which they haven't.

In the beginning of this new position and all of the travel I was resentful and even told him he needed to go back to his old job. I was a couple of months pregnant and I'm sure hormones had somerhing to do with my attitude but my husband had the same reaction aa Roselyn above. I thought it was unfair just as you so so I brought it to TAM just as you have. Unfortunately that thread was under my old TAM name and no longer available. But my eyes were truly opened by the responses of those in your position as well as those in your husband's position. Consider the position of your husband who is the one having to spend all this time not sleeping in his own bed and rarely getting home cooked meals. Try to put yourself in his shoes. Its bad enough that his company is screwing him but then he has to get flack from his wife also.

I know what the loneliness is like and having to hold down the fort. But it makes for a much better marriage when I keep in the forefront that my husband and i are on the same team. I refuse to let his employers lack of integrity come between us. He really is blessed to get this opportunity and Ele is spot on about the work climate these days. You work from home and I am a SAHM so I just appreciate how hard my husband works to have us in the financial position we are in today. Its good to be direct and say what's on your mind. Its also good to think through things and consider if rebukes and complaints are helpful or harmful in a given situation.

Maybe you could offer him suggestions in a way that builds him up? Focus on letting him know that he is worth more than how his company is treating him and you just want him to get what he deserves. However it won't lessen the risk that he could end up committing career suicide.

Have you thought about ways to deal with the loneliness? If so let me know! LOL. Jld is a pro at this by now maybe she can give you some tips. But I know she's going to say just do it. :D
 
#16 ·
I definitely have told him that he deserves this raise for how hard he is working and how much more work he's been having to do since this promotion! It's just so hard for me to keep my mouth shut when I see with my own eyes just how badly he's bring taken advantage of and how unfairly he's being treated.

The loneliness is a very hard thing to deal with when he's away and I'm abdolutely dreading these next 2 weeks. I will be totally alone for a total of 13 days while he's in New Mexico. We also have a 12-year-old cat who was just diagnosed with kidney disease and has to have subcutaneous fluids administered every day, which is VERY difficult, if not near impossible, for one person to do. That's definitely a 2-person job. I do have a friend who can come over and help me sometimes, but she's not always available since she works full-time as well. I just feel overwhelmed with having to do everything myself, plus work full-time on top of it and at times I do feel resentful. I really don't want to feel all this resentment, but I just can't help how I feel. I don't think he could go back to his old position and I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to. If his company would just start keeping the promises they made in the beginning and make good of this situation, everything would be much different!
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#14 ·
Place accountabilities where they belong.

You can't blame your husband in any way for his company lying to him. His recourse with them is to accept it or quit.

Your husband has accepted a job that makes him travel way too much to sustain a marriage to you. He is accountable to you his wife to be physically present in your marriage.

You need to define a choice that your husband is in control of and can make, offer him that choice and allow him to make his own decision.
 
#15 ·
Place accountabilities where they belong.

You can't blame your husband in any way for his company lying to him. His recourse with them is to accept it or quit.
I have never blamed him. I have told him that I know it isn't his fault and I know he has told them that he needs a raise in order to keep doing this, but he still has not gotten it. I have just been urging him to move up the chain of command since he obviously isn't getting anywhere with his boss or anyone else he has brought this to.
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#19 ·
I think you have some self-obfuscation going on.

Bottom line, you don't want him away from home. I don't think it would matter if he had the raise or not. It's just a factor that enables you to rationalize your resentment.

I'm not blaming you.

But it IS something you need to be very aware of. This kind of thing can begin to feed on itself and begin to bleed into facets of your life that really aren't part of the issue.

I realize that everyone is different.

jld's husband for example travels about as much as your husband does, if not more ... and they have 5 children. It works for them.

I travel a great deal as well. And I love my job. My ex-wife HATED my travel, and made my efforts to provide for our family and my own satisfaction seem like I was selfish and uncaring. She didn't want me home to be with me ... she wanted me home to help maintain the house. She was not an independent operator.

My point is to be honest with yourself, and in turn honest with him. Else, I can tell you what the outcome is, and I'm presuming you certainly don't want that.
 
#21 · (Edited)
I think you have some self-obfuscation going on.

Bottom line, you don't want him away from home. I don't think it would matter if he had the raise or not. It's just a factor that enables you to rationalize your resentment.
That is absolutely not the case at all. I was extremely supportive of him taking this position in the beginning. Plus, we get to keep all of the travel miles for ourselves with him traveling, which means that we could take a vacation that is almost entirely paid for. Why wouldn't I want that??? Also, it is good for every couple to have a bit of time apart every once in a while. My issue is NOT that I just don't want him traveling period. What I DO have an issue with is the frequency that he is currently traveling, which is SIGNIFICANTLY more than what he was told it would be when he took this position. Obviously, I like it when my husband is home and I like spending time with him, but I have no issue with him traveling the amount that he was originally told he would, which was no more than twice a month and no more than one week at a time with a break in between. I have absolutely no problem with that whatsoever. However, being gone for 3 weeks in a row is NOT lining up with their initial promise. He is not getting paid nearly enough for that. The lack of a raise is another major issue here, especially with how many extra hours he is working while on the road, plus all of the time spent traveling. He didn't take this position because he wanted to be away from home. He took it because it was supposed to be financially beneficial for us and would be an opportunity to move up in his company. I do not have issues with him traveling. That is not what this is about. It all has to do with the BS lies that his company has been spoon feeding him and how they are taking complete and total advantage of him.

I won't even get into how on his last trip, which was to Baltimore, his corporate American Express was maxed out because they didn't increase his limit like they were supposed to. He didn't find this out until he arrived in Baltimore and he had to have coworkers pay for his rental car and hotel room and when he called his boss to have his limit increased immediately, it was never done and she never replied to his e-mails about it for the rest of the week. He also had to use our own money to pay for his meals, which the company STILL has not reimbursed him for yet and it has been an entire month. His credit card limit finally did get taken care of when he got back to the office, but that is just an example of the kind of BS we're dealing with here.
 
#20 ·
Good evening
I have always had to travel for work, and had to often work very long hours. I know my wife wasn't happy about it and it seemed that my pay was nowhere near reasonable for what I was asked to do.

Gradually though things improve. Pay went up. Promotions. I think the eventually realized that while I spent a lot of time at work, it paid off in a lot of ways. I have a good pay, extremely secure job that I enjoy.

I get on another flight half way around the world in a few hours, be back in a few days. I'll send flowers to my wife at her office while I'm there. When I'm back, I'll spend lots of time with her - as I always do.
 
#22 ·
Be grateful he has a job.

You will need to let up on the pressure or he is not going to want to be around you.

He is not a kid, he is a grown man.

Yes, you can help being resentful.

Read this thread many times and you will begin to see how... if you truly want to not be resentful.
 
#26 ·
2 weeks a month is 50% travel. I don't know of any company that is going to try and parse out how that works. Which means there could be a month where he's on the road 3 weeks in a row followed by a month where he travels one week.

It's likely neither of you understood that prior to signing up if he hasn't traveled previously.

It is what it is. And I would submit that it isn't likely to change. What I can tell you, is that he will have to be firm on his boundaries. I've said 'No' to travel, and everybody learns to deal with it, whether they like it or not. What I can tell you, is if you always say 'yes', they will simply keep sending you.

Your options are to try and find a way to make peace with it, or invariably tell him
 
#27 ·
They did very clearly tell him that the traveling would be limited to no more than twice a month and that it would never be 2 weeks in a row, so we did fully understand it, but that has not been the case at all. They did want him to go back to Baltimore a couple of weeks ago, but he told them no because he had just gotten back from being on the road for 3 straight weeks, so he doesn't always say yes, but I do think that he needs to be more firm in telling them that he cannot do these 3 weeks in a row as it is just not working. It is very rough on him as well, not just me.
 
#28 ·
And for everyone saying "be grateful he has a job," did I ever say I was ungrateful??? However, he was making the same exact amount of money when he didn't have to travel and, in fact, was making even more when he worked overtime, which was fairly frequently. Am I the only one who sees something wrong with that picture???
 
#29 ·
And for everyone saying "be grateful he has a job," did I ever say I was ungrateful??? However, he was making the same exact amount of money when he didn't have to travel and, in fact, was making even more when he worked overtime, which was fairly frequently. Am I the only one who sees something wrong with that picture???
Nobody has said that is is right and good. It's really crappy, and in exactly the ways you say it is. We agree with you.

Two months ago, I took a 22% paycut in order to keep my job. My wife was very upset by this on my behalf. I was upset too for many reasons. I am the one who has to go into work there every day, to be reminded at work every day. While I understand my wife being upset, what I needed was her understanding and support. What I didn't need was to have to calm and console her and support her through it. I did because I am a good, understanding and supportive husband, but boy, those first few weeks, I wanted nothing more than to get off work, but at the same time, didn't want to go home.
 
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#32 ·
I just got off the phone with my husband and he said that if he doesn't get this other promotion that he was basically promised by his manager a couple of weeks ago by July, he will start looking for another job. If he gets this promotion, it could be up to a 20% raise, which would be huge and would make both of us feel a lot better about the situation. We both agreed that if he doesn't get this promotion, then we will know that we really can't trust one single thing that this company tells him and he will start looking elsewhere, which I obviously would help him do. In fact, I've already kind of been looking for other jobs for him.
 
#40 ·
I don't think that you understand the environment of corporate employment. Do you know that decisions on employee responsibilities and how they will be reframed and shifted are decided upon at the top ranks. On top of that, their Human Resources division and the corporate lawyers are on their team. When you sign your hiring papers, there are all sorts of fine print in there. Many of us corporate "rats" are only too happy to have a job at that time and will sign it without understanding what we signed up for.

You are demanding that your husband goes over his boss' head and complain about his pay & lessen his travel demands. They will find a way to make him quit or find a reason to fire him. Your husband knows this.

Your husband is tired during these travel trips. I was. It is not comfortable to sleep in the plane, not to mention the jet lag. After the trip, you have to go to your office the next day and work on your pile of responsibilities. When I traveled, our university paid per diem, a rate that is decided upon for reimbursement. Many times, this amount is short if you are not careful on your meals. I paid with my personal credit card and submitted the costs for reimbursement. There are delays in this process, usually 3 weeks.

Yes, he can stand up against management and either be tortured on his job or quit.

If I was the betting type these are what I would bet on:

1. he feels unappreciated.

2. he hates coming home when you start off about his job.

3. he wishes that he would have a peaceful home and a good night's sleep.

4. he is resentful about your attitude.

If you don't change your outlook, you will be heading to divorce court in not too far in the future.

I am in my career for 25 years and has planned to take early retirement in three years. I will stick to this job until I reach my goal. My husband is the only one in my team as my parents are already deceased and my siblings are in other states and have their own problems. I need my husband to be on my side, helping me, and cheering me on as we move to early retirement. I am 57 years old, elected to be without children, married for 35 years (1st time for the both of us), and a career woman.

I wish you the best... really.
 
#42 ·
I don't think that you understand the environment of corporate employment. Do you know that decisions on employee responsibilities and how they will be reframed and shifted are decided upon at the top ranks. On top of that, their Human Resources division and the corporate lawyers are on their team. When you sign your hiring papers, there are all sorts of fine print in there. Many of us corporate "rats" are only too happy to have a job at that time and will sign it without understanding what we signed up for.

You are demanding that your husband goes over his boss' head and complain about his pay & lessen his travel demands. They will find a way to make him quit or find a reason to fire him. Your husband knows this.

Your husband is tired during these travel trips. I was. It is not comfortable to sleep in the plane, not to mention the jet lag. After the trip, you have to go to your office the next day and work on your pile of responsibilities. When I traveled, our university paid per diem, a rate that is decided upon for reimbursement. Many times, this amount is short if you are not careful on your meals. I paid with my personal credit card and submitted the costs for reimbursement. There are delays in this process, usually 3 weeks.

Yes, he can stand up against management and either be tortured on his job or quit.

If I was the betting type these are what I would bet on:

1. he feels unappreciated.

2. he hates coming home when you start off about his job.

3. he wishes that he would have a peaceful home and a good night's sleep.

4. he is resentful about your attitude.


If you don't change your outlook, you will be heading to divorce court in not too far in the future.

I am in my career for 25 years and has planned to take early retirement in three years. I will stick to this job until I reach my goal. My husband is the only one in my team as my parents are already deceased and my siblings are in other states and have their own problems. I need my husband to be on my side, helping me, and cheering me on as we move to early retirement. I am 57 years old, elected to be without children, married for 35 years (1st time for the both of us), and a career woman.

I wish you the best... really.
 
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#50 ·
I think all Runner really needed was some empathy. It sounds to me like she and her husband have a fine handle on things.

Runner, I hope you will not leave. We benefit from a diversity of views on TAM.
 
#61 ·
I'm not sure suggesting she just pay people to help is a useful suggestion. I mean, sure, it might help short term but it's just going to make it increasingly evident that the job situation is unsustainable if it's leaving OP overwhelmed and isn't bringing in extra money to counter it. Meaning if she needs to start paying for services because her husband is away, this job will be costing them. Her no longer mentioning it won't change that dynamic.

And frankly, I'm disappointed that TAM is this unfriendly to new female posters. Where either they readily encounter red pill PUA superstars who discount how women are base animals with silly needs, or the inference their problems are shallow and childish and if they are bothered they lack emotional maturity and are ungrateful. And it's getting difficult to tell which kind of thread you are on.
 
#68 · (Edited)
I don't think hiring a teen to help with the cat while he is traveling will break the bank.

I don't understand not being able to "hold down the fort" herself while he is away and complaining about it. Millions of women do it. Millions of single, divorced, widowed women of all ages handle life without a man. To suggest she can and should, too, is not unkind, it's reality. If managing the household on her own 50% of the time is overwhelming, maybe she should look at how she can make growing in that area as a goal. It's completely reasonable and not unkind to suggest that outlook.

As I said, I completely get missing a partner when they are away, sure that's an issue...I just don't believe complaining about managing everyday household life while he is away is productive to their marriage in any way.
 
#65 ·
So in the worst case scenario...the promotion and raise don't come through in July, which is a distinct possibility, and the job hunt goes slowly, if at all, because it will with the travelling...then what? Would you be ok and supportive of your husband quitting his job, because there is a realistic possibility that that will be the only way out of the situation he is in there.
 
#69 ·
Runner.... you are on a thread with very seasoned people.

We are here "for" you not against you.

If you remain calm and have a go at listening to what is being said you will gain some knowledge about how to navigate your situation without running your H off.

Defensiveness on this thread is not going to serve you Hun.

It will mean shooting yourself in the foot because you will miss the info you came here looking for.

We WANT peace for you.
 
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