Not really sure how to start this topic, but I have been google searching for days with nothing really helpful coming up, and this is a topic I don't feel comfortable talking to my close friends about due to fear of being judged.
My wife and I have been married for 11 years and have had the normal issues that come up during the early stages but we try our best to talk through issues. My wife is a great mother to our kids and loves me dearly as well as I love her. Over the last 1 1/2 years I noticed our sex life has started to lose some of its flair. We try and carve out time for each other when our kids are not busy and we can find a sitter, so we are aware that we have to work hard to keep the flame going. Of the two of us I am the more adventurous type in the bed room, I like to try new things and missionary every single time is OK but not really my thing if we can do something else. About a year ago, I noticed that she was avoiding wanting to receive Oral, after a few times of her rejecting me or directing me towards other things I asked why and she said she did not really like it. OK, that was news to me, we have been married 11 years but together a total of 15 and this never came up before. Okay, so I left that alone and did not ask to pleasure her in that way again. I also starting noticing she would try and speed up our sessions, if the kids were up maybe so but when they are knocked out asleep and clear across the house..not so much. I personally take pride in making sure my wife is taken care of and asked her a million times over the years before, during and after love making what can I do to make you feel good while we are in the sack. She always says nothing, or sometimes kiss me, so I make sure and do plenty of kissing. What I guess is tough for me is I am adventurous so I like different things, so when she called me up 9 months ago and said she was a hosting sex toy party with some other moms I was very thrilled and excited. She seemed excited to and actually hosted two events, but what baffles me is she brought all these cools things home for her and I, and even took the time to show them to me but tossed them in a bag in a lower dresser drawer. I asked for months to try the new stuff out, one night she gave it a go and we both tried a few things and everything seemed great. But my future attempts at asking to bring the toys out have failed over and over to the point I don't ask anymore. This may be long winded, and I might be taking this the wrong way, but I don't understand what I am doing wrong. I figured out my wife's love language is words of affirmation, I make sure and send her little text messages telling her how much I love her, and how beautiful she is. Every year on our anniversary arrange for my mother in-law to watch the kids, and I plan an entire weekend just for her. It takes me a few months to get everything lined up because I change it up every year. At this very moment we are talking, and trying to sort this out. My concerns are that she does not ask much of me sexually, and I feel like a dork asking her for anything. Am I knit picking to want to have some spice in the bedroom? Or should I be thankful for what I have and sit down and shut up.
My wife and I have been married for 11 years and have had the normal issues that come up during the early stages but we try our best to talk through issues. My wife is a great mother to our kids and loves me dearly as well as I love her. Over the last 1 1/2 years I noticed our sex life has started to lose some of its flair. We try and carve out time for each other when our kids are not busy and we can find a sitter, so we are aware that we have to work hard to keep the flame going. Of the two of us I am the more adventurous type in the bed room, I like to try new things and missionary every single time is OK but not really my thing if we can do something else. About a year ago, I noticed that she was avoiding wanting to receive Oral, after a few times of her rejecting me or directing me towards other things I asked why and she said she did not really like it. OK, that was news to me, we have been married 11 years but together a total of 15 and this never came up before. Okay, so I left that alone and did not ask to pleasure her in that way again. I also starting noticing she would try and speed up our sessions, if the kids were up maybe so but when they are knocked out asleep and clear across the house..not so much. I personally take pride in making sure my wife is taken care of and asked her a million times over the years before, during and after love making what can I do to make you feel good while we are in the sack. She always says nothing, or sometimes kiss me, so I make sure and do plenty of kissing. What I guess is tough for me is I am adventurous so I like different things, so when she called me up 9 months ago and said she was a hosting sex toy party with some other moms I was very thrilled and excited. She seemed excited to and actually hosted two events, but what baffles me is she brought all these cools things home for her and I, and even took the time to show them to me but tossed them in a bag in a lower dresser drawer. I asked for months to try the new stuff out, one night she gave it a go and we both tried a few things and everything seemed great. But my future attempts at asking to bring the toys out have failed over and over to the point I don't ask anymore. This may be long winded, and I might be taking this the wrong way, but I don't understand what I am doing wrong. I figured out my wife's love language is words of affirmation, I make sure and send her little text messages telling her how much I love her, and how beautiful she is. Every year on our anniversary arrange for my mother in-law to watch the kids, and I plan an entire weekend just for her. It takes me a few months to get everything lined up because I change it up every year. At this very moment we are talking, and trying to sort this out. My concerns are that she does not ask much of me sexually, and I feel like a dork asking her for anything. Am I knit picking to want to have some spice in the bedroom? Or should I be thankful for what I have and sit down and shut up.