Living your life based on someone else making you happy or not
Ok so last night I went to grab a beer with a buddy of mine. We don't get a chance to do that often. For some reason he seemed compelled to tell me his situation with his wife. That's fine I have no problem listening to him, was a bit odd since he had never really done that before.
He tells me of their troubles over the past few years. How him and his wife just don't see eye to eye on things much. He goes on to say over the years that they have been in and out of counseling, anything that was suggested for his wife to do/try she usually doesn't.
He tells me they were having a discussion the other night over certain issues, he asked her why it was she wasn't working on x, y, z that the counselor had suggested. Her response was, she didn't do this or that because he didn't do this or that. So basically he is saying that she purposely will not do whatever was asked of her or that she knows she needs to do because he isn't.
I asked why he wasn't. He said that was what he didn't understand, he was doing what the counselor had asked of him, but that she wasn't. That is why he was so confused by it all. Its like she was looking for an excuse not to do her part. So his question to me was, are there some people who purposely will work on whatever they need to, because it seems they are living their lives based on what their spouse will or will not do?
I'm assuming there are people like this. What are your thoughts? Are there people who live their life based on what someone else will or will not do? Are they dependent on others to make them happy and their happiness depends on what another person will or wont do to make them happy? If so, why?
Also I will add, IMO, I think thee might be a difference between a person who will not do something that was suggested because they are simply checked out of the marriage, and someone who purposely wont, because they are dependent on another person and live their life based on what another person does or doesn't do.