Discouraged In Seattle

MaryJane · 06-23-2011, 01:53 AM

Hello everyone. I am a 25 year old female who has been married for almost a year. The reason I've come here is because I am embarassed to talk to my friends about some of this, and I can't hold it in anymore.
When my husband and I first met we had sex whenever I/He wanted. About a year after I moved in it turned into once a week. I don't want to sound conceited or anything, but guys I am a HOTT chick. I hit the gym 5 days a week and have a killer bod. I work out HARD everyday to try to turn him on. He says I'm sexy but why can't he show it? I feel that sex is a huge part of a marriage and its like pulling teeth. Everyday I have guys hitting on me and all I want is my HUSBAND. He is 10 years older than me too! I would think he would be happy to have a hott young wife, but i guess not. what could be the prob? He acts like its a chore for me to CLIMB ON TOP!!! All he has to do is lay there!!!!!! I do all the work in sex, i iniate it everytime, i switch positions all the time, i'm in great shape so i can do it all. whats the problem? how can i get my guy to want me more? i feel so worthless sometimes. maybe my question should actually be what am I doing wrong???

chillymorn · 06-23-2011, 07:04 AM

you need to play hard to get. your too accessible.

I know if you have a high sex drive its easier said than done.

he also might be slowing down because of his age. is he in good shape?

DanF · 06-23-2011, 07:34 AM

Will you marry me?

Just kidding.

Tease him. Don't be so accessible. Wear sexy clothes and bend over a lot, etc.
Sometimes I think when everything that you could ever want is so easily had, it spoils the thrill of getting it.
My wife likes to tease and act like she isn't. When I get wound up, she acts like it's a big surprise. She isn't fooling anyone, but it's part of the game.

MaryJane · 06-23-2011, 10:45 AM

@ chillymorn, I too have thought of this. I know I am! I try for it almost every night and usually get shot down. then I get so upset and take it so personal like for some reason he isn't attracted to me.
I've done the whole "well geez, I'll guess I'll just wait until he wants it." and it will be a WEEK LATER and still no sex!!! Then I can't take it anymore and the whole cycle starts over again.

MaryJane · 06-23-2011, 10:51 AM

danF. The sexy clothes? always! bending over? everyday! he says my butt is perfect and he loves it. so why not come over and squeeze it or something ya know? I will definitely try not to make myself so accessible. all i know is that twice a week isn't cuttin it for me, and i can't believe that any guy would actually turn down sex. i mean aren't you guys sex 24/7!!! I feel like I'm the dude in the relationship.
he's in good shape. he's a big guy but he's in good shape. I am so attracted to him on every level that I just want the sex to bring it all together. and that I love the OG haha.

newwife07 · 06-23-2011, 11:00 AM

he might be depressed or too stressed from his job. it doesn't have anything to do with you. maybe buy kama sutra, etc books and leave them around the house?

ClipClop · 06-23-2011, 11:01 AM

Or he feels emasculated by your sexual aggression and your self confidence in how desirable you are.
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newwife07 · 06-23-2011, 11:04 AM

Also, the first year of marriage can have dry spells from time to time. It's common! Just don't worry about it too much--focus on having a good time with him and maybe eventually you'll both be on the same page.

tjlee · 06-23-2011, 11:12 AM

Wow do women like you really exist? I am forty and I would do it 4 times a week if my wife wanted to. Twice tops for us. She is better now though...in our younger years it was like twice a month...ugh! I would also ask if he is in shape. I run a lot, workout, etc so I think that helps to have a normal drive for men.