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I don't want 2 leave the LOVE of my life... BUT

1K views 3 replies 4 participants last post by  Atholk 
#1 ·
I NEED ADVICE PEOPLE!

My wife and I have almost made it 7 years! I've been so excited this year. We were married very young. I was 20 and she was 19. Now, I'm 27 and she is 26.... Still NO kids. We were high school sweet hearts and have been IN LOVE for a long time.

During the beginning part of our marriage, we were typical college kids, except married! Lots of school and work to pay the bills. And alot of immaturity in how we treated each other. But, we continued on. I hurt her by always hanging with the guys and she always cried. In year 3, I learned that for about 8 months she had been texting, excuse me, SEXTING one of our greatest friends. There was NO physical contact, but she was pretty much IN LOVE with this man. I had no CLUE. At the same time, she was sexting another guy that she met out of town... Again, no physical contact, just PICTURE after PICTURE of her nude and talking about sexual things. She was BUSTED! I confronted both of them. They were crushed, so upset for what they had done. So upset for hurting me and going behind my back.

My wife and I then went to counseling together and then my wife went alone and we went together again after that.... We began to really work at our marriage. Treating eachother with kindness, considering each others needs.... ect. We really grew and matured.... It was awesome. She had another slip up, but I caught it early. No SEXTING, but just too many texts and I knew it would lead to danger. She apologized and was upset with herself. I think she even went back for a few counseling sessions. But I was thankful, I caught it early.

Its been 3 years now and I would've told you 5 days ago that our marriage was as strong as ever. We are totally in love and happy. We've been thinking about having kids. You name the attributes of a great marriage and we have them going on!

BUTTTTT, hold the phone. I just learned 2 days ago that she has been SEXTING again with someone. I confronted her. She fell to pieces. She has sent nude photos and had very sexual conversations for about 3 weeks. My heart feels like its just been ripped out of my chest! Because of what I do and who she SEXTED with.... My job is in jeopardy. I will have to make a SIGNIFICAN change in my job, maybe even have to move on to another location.

Of course, she is torn to pieces as well. She wants to get help. She is scared to death.... I love her with my whole heart. She is my best friend. She has never PHYSICALLY cheated on me, but this is the 4th guy she has began an inappropriate relationship with..... I don't know what to do.

Alot of me wants to stand by her.... help her get help and move on once again. But I know that I am risking her doing it again.... maybe next time we will have KIDS.

Then some of me is completely exhausted from all of this TORTURE. We have no kids.... I'm 27 years old.... And I could just go and start over. Get a divorce and move on.

but then again.... I love her.

ANY ADVICE?!?!?!?! I'm desperate.
 
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#2 ·
Unfortunately she sounds habitual. Having gone through counseling we can assume she knows how hurtful her behavior is to you and yet it creeps back again and again. Sharing photos of herself nude is as bad as cheating in my book. Those could easily make their way to the Internet and be very embarrassing for you.

I think you are right to be concerned now and not want to bring kids into a mix that could turn into a divorce.
 
#3 ·
I agree with BigToe. Emotional affairs, while not physical, are JUST as hurtful to the victim. And I think if they let it go on long enough, it will turn physical. Sounds like she may have an issue with getting attention from other men (even if you give her enough, sometimes it is an addiction). I don't have this issue... I hate to even see myself naked. LOL!

Good luck. I know what love can do to your common sense.... even to those who feel they know they would leave the moment anything happens between their spouse and another person. That was me; I ALWAYS said I would leave. But here I am, crying and stewing about it since my DH still works with his 'emotional and semi-physical affair'.
 
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