rotor

He should feel lucky you are cooking for him at all. My wife is not only too lazy to cook, she is too lazy to eat unless it comes out of a package and she can just stuff it in her mouth. Seriously! The woman would live off lunch meat and bread if I wasn’t around to feed her or cart her around to restaurants for a proper meal.

Cheers,

rotor

Homemaker_Numero_Uno

This isn't about cooking. He's taken something she enjoyed and was proud of and is using it to undermine her confidence and it is also something that she has to do, or starve or eat out of a can.

I would, personally, start taking cooking advice from the guys who work behind the meat and fish counter. Take your H shopping with you and stop to chat with your new friends you make when seeking such advice. Let your H hear the cooking advice. If he complains about cooking, say, wow, I will have to let so-and-so know that I messed up, and have them explain to me again how to cook this fish/meat/chicken properly. Also, sign up for a co-ed cooking class, one that meets twice a week so you can eat in class and not have to cook at home those nights. Then invite your classmates over for dinner once in a while. And their husbands.

But alas, once you have this mastered, he will start complaining about the laundry.

I forget how long you've been married.
If you know him well you could dump a pot of lukewarm spaghetti over his head and start laughing at him. Mr Noodles! This is how the Sicilian women in my family that I admired would have handled it. Or the next night serve peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with paper umbrellas on luau-themed plates. Wear a hula skirt. And nothing else. Tell him it is a theme dinner, you read about it in a new woman's magazine cooking section, that said all husbands enjoy this dinner.

I remember I had issue with my ex. So one night I decided to cook a disgusting recipe I saw in a cookbook I had that was otherwise full of fabulous southern recipes from a coastal Louisianan town. It was sweet and sour tuna fish. Well, he liked it. We all did. But the truth is, I made it to even a score.

Laurae1967

Do you think your husband criticizes you to control you and keep you in line? If he puts you down all the time, it makes him feel less vulnerable with you. It could be that he's really insecure and uses the criticism to ease his insecurities. It's obviously not okay and if he is doing other things to make you feel insecure, I would question where your relationship is going.

geogirl

Gently telling him " I don't recall asking for your opinion, but thanks." end of conversation.

Runs like Dog

My grandfather's second wife was a food critic, chef and cookbook author. My mother's grandfather was the head chef at the Waldorf. My mother is an excellent chef and enjoyed it. I have learned to lower my standards. I am happy with whatever she makes because honestly, it's the last thing she does for me.

Vixen3927

Guys and gals speak different languages. What may seem like a criticism to you may actually be him trying to help you. Guys try to solve problems and come up with solutions. This is their way of helping others and feeling needed. When guys solicit feedback, they are expecting their other bros to give them honest opinions to make the situation as best it can be. Asking for advice or suggestions is a sign of respect for the one being asked and giving that advice or suggestion shows a genuine caring for the other dude, not to mention wanting to give the other guy the best advice and most honest answers possible since the guy respected him enough to ask him in the first place. I have a feeling that he does not see it as controlling or even insulting. Offering suggestions and giving honest opinions is his way of showing he loves you and cares about you. This may sound like a cop out but guys really are oblivious to comments like that and how a woman could perceive it. They're not used to speaking our language and may not even know they are being hurtful or negative. Hopefully explaining to him how you communicate differently and how your intentions are different than his will clear up at least some of the situation.

As for the unwanted invitation on the vacation situation, he may be rebelling, still wanting to do what he wants without consideration of his spouse. I would focus more on this issue and not have it be an afterthought on your post. The bulk of your post was on the communication problem but that's all I think it is, a case of miscommunication. Whereas this other issue you mentioned in passing at the end is really more of what should be the focus. That appears to be a bit more malicious and troubling to me.