Are there any others here who feel that they have married for companionship? By this I mean they have married someone they may care for, be friends with, be comfortable being around, but not have passionately romantic feelings towards?
If so what was it that brought you together in the first place (not wanting to be alone, marriage was something you are 'supposed' to do etc?). What keeps you together? Do you feel fulfilled by your marriage; is it enough for you to both be happy?
Yes, I am in such a marriage but I don't want to obscure other's input on this particular question by describing my own personal circumstances just yet.
I hope David comes back and tells us a little more.
Companionship? sometimes it depends on how you are using the word. I think here the posters are talking about 'you get along with this person really well but don't have, enjoy or have enough, sex with them'.
So in that context you would have to go to the hundreds of posts that talk about "how important is sex in a marriage" or "my wife has a different sex drive than I do". However many times this topic is discussed I think people just don't accept that there will be a difference in sex drive, one is not right or wrong just different. I would further that by saying it doesn't really mean anything if you and spouse have different sex drives. I don't know if the OP is just having that same old discussion.
I do think that getting along with someone (call it companionship or whatever word you like) is very very important in a marriage. I believe that the physical attraction is a terrible reason to be together if that is all you have. Or even if you are only staying together because of the attraction. I don't think people, when they are dating, spend enough time trying to figure out if they really can live with this person. Part of knowing that is knowing what is important to you and that can take some time. There are a lot of dimensions to being compatible and you have to know yourself to know which are the important points. Even if you get along with your spouse you may not be really compatible on some important dimensions or qualities.
I also believe that sex becomes less important as we age (maybe just for women, I have never been a man
) This may be biology that says "hey lady you are too old to be having kids now so knock it off with the whole sex thing".
What does become important as you age is having a history and social network with that person. Traditionally the family, kids and grandkids are an important part of the older couples lives.
I also think it is important to have someone that is around your age to talk to. I think the May - December romances miss this. I like to talk about things from years ago and my partner knows what I am talking about and shares that experience.
So yes, companionship is really important.