tg123456

Is it ok for me to get angry and upset when my wife goes out with girlfriends? I dont have a problem with her going out alone, the problem is where they go. Its usually a club or bar and they drink and go dancing. I have told her how I feel about this and she says she is sorry i feel this way but she needs a night out once in a while. She says Iam trying to control her and tell her what she can and cant do and that I need to trust her. I do trust her I just cant help the way I feel. I suggest they go to diner and a movie or something and she says they like to dance. I have offered to go with her but she says she needs time to herself, and Iam fine with that I just dont like the idea of her in a club. The day after these Nights out she tells me all about it and what she did but I still dont like it. We have been married for 7 years and she is the love of my life but I just dont know to deal with this!

Conrad

Suggest this.

You gals go have fun, I'll join you later in the evening. And, you don't commit to what time.

Perfectly reasonable.

You'll know where you stand with her response to that.

__________________
"Forgive or Re-Live"

-AFEH

tg123456

I forgot to mention we have 2 young chrildren and getting a babysitter is an issue. So me joining later would be hard to do. She has said that sometimes I can go with them but that has not happend yet.

Conrad

If your relationship is important to you, you'll figure out something for the kids.

Time to get off the pot.

__________________
"Forgive or Re-Live"

-AFEH

tg123456

I dont think she is or would ever cheat on me. I dont know how to explain this I just dont like her going to bars or clubs without me, I dont think that is aplace for a married woman or a man. I just dont get it!

Conrad

Then do what I said.

__________________
"Forgive or Re-Live"

-AFEH

tg123456

I have tryed that but again she says she needs time alone. If I show up I will be told that I dont trust her and I am trying to control her.

michzz

Wake up, every married woman flirting with men and considering cheating says this exact thing.

And it goes without saying that a cheating wife says it too.

Conrad

michzz is right.

3 hours with the girls is "more than enough" time in one night.

You show up after hour 3, nobody can say a word.

She also won't be able to hop from place to place with some alpha SOB driving her who knows where.

Wake up.

__________________
"Forgive or Re-Live"

-AFEH

michzz

been there, WRONGO!, done that. Cried over the t-shirt.

tg123456

What?

Bottom line is I love my wife and dont want this to continue to be a problem for us. this is the first major problem we have had in 7 years and I need to know how to fix it!

Entropy3000

You told her your feelings. She does not care and is blowing you off. Have you told her that this is unacceptable behavior for your marriage? If you are too afraid to lose your wife by taking a stand, she is no longer yours anyway.

So you get to stay home with the kids while she is out playing with other men. Awesome for her. She must love the heck out of that. Woooohooooo!!!. Cake eating.

See, you having to be home with the kids isolates the primary male in her life which frees her up to enjoy her exploits with the boys. Women are wired this way. Always looking for the better male. You cannot c0ckblock. GNOs are designed for this.

Is she ok with you going out dancing with women without her?

The thing is you should have a say so in what your wife does. Taking it to an extreme do you have input as to how many men your wife is "allowed" to sleep with? Remember that the jealous reflex is hardwired into men who do not want their wives impregnated by other males. It is a primary mechanism to prevent infidelity. Men are wired to c0ckblock.

Women throw the controlling thing down on you. So do cheaters BTW. Why is ok for your wife to be dancing ( groping ) with guys who want to bed her while she is drinking?

Is she ok with you getting lap dances in the VIP room?

The biggest thing is that she does not respect you. If she does not respect you, you are no longer attractive to her. These guys in the clubs will then look that much hotter. Do the math.

Not to get creepy, here, but does she dress better when she does this?

Entropy3000

I suggest GNOs ( meat markets ) be another section under infidelity or at the very least a GNO in parallel to it.

This just seems like a hot bed of activity for women.

Halien

I think that if you have told her that you are like many man who object to their wife going to places like this alone, and she has rebuffed you, then she is drawing a line in the sand. Strangely, she probably wouldn't trust you if you said that you would spend the same amount of time on an adult live chatting site, even if you told her that she should trust you.

Honestly, I think you have to tell her that you two have now reached a place where your concepts of marital boundaries are too divergent to continue allowing this. It is entirely possible that she is telling herself that this is asexual, but that's not what is going on in the minds of the guys there. If she is willing to place this desire to hang out with a crowd of mostly single people over your own beliefs, then I think you'll know where you really stand.

tg123456

She does not really dress better or sexy when they go out. She says she understands my feelings but thinks it should be ok for her to go out with the girls every now and then. And I agree with that but I dont want her going to clubs. The thing is I dont feel the need to have guys nights, if I go out I want to be with my wife.