gagirl08

I'm new here but I needed some advice...the guy that I've been messing around with is married and it eats me up inside when I think about it sometimes. It's driving me crazy! But I am soo in love with him and he keeps telling me he's about to get a divorce from her..what should I do? Believe him or not?

Amplexor

He is very likely playing you. Having you and his wife at the same time. And if he does leave her for you, what kind of track record does he bring to your new relationship. A lying-cheat. This is eating you up inside because it is wrong, plane and simple. Leave the relationship immediately.

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Amp

Confidence – Love – Patience – Faith Are the tools to help heal a marriage.

"Some of the greatest lessons life has taught me came from my darkest days in it" -Amp

swedish

He might be unhappy in his marriage and if, for example, it's because the sex has gone down, he's now getting that outside of his marriage so he may feel he's getting it all right now. Divorce isn't something you just bring up and make happen overnight and he probably knows darn well how his wife will respond when he brings it up. Otherwise, he would have gotten divorced long before getting involved with someone else. Now that he has gotten involved with you it will be much easier to continue what he's doing with her and with you.

If he does bring it up, she may very well be devastated and want to know why. She may ask him to try counseling and to work on the marriage. She may agree with all of the reasons he gives as to why the marriage isn't working and enlighten him with some issues of her own. This could likely make him realize that he owes it to her to try and repair the marriage and the first step will be to end things with you.

If you love him as you say you do, why not be a friend to him and tell him he needs to talk to his wife about the issues he's having within his marriage and see if they can be resolved and take yourself out of the picture. He is not the only man on the planet you can fall in love with and he is not available.

It is eating you up inside because adultery is wrong. You are only doing it for selfish reasons. It's not good for him or for his wife and it's eating you up at times because you know this. Even if he leaves his wife, it is very likely that once he has his freedom, he will want to take advantage of that and date other people. It most likely will not work out for the two of you and at what cost?

If in the future you find out he is divorced, date him if you want. Right now it is wrong, plain and simple, on so many levels.

ur_next_ex

You Are Being Used As A Easy Piece Of Azz On The Side. A Booty Call.

bzyshopinbee

Yea, its not likely your going to see that divorce anytime soon. Has he given you reasons why his marriage is falling apart? If so, what are they? Has he told you how he THINKS his wife will respond to him wanting a divorce? If so, what did he say?

Just trying to get an idea of what his words are to you about that specific part of it so that I can understand it from his perspective....

Blanca

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gagirl08

Well, I am in love with him...I couldn't even picture my life without him... he's my world, but he has told his wife he wanted a divorce, she is in love with him still..they've only been married for 7 months but he's not happy with her, he says she makes his life misrabeal and he is soo happy with me! He loves to be with me!

loveandmarriage

Always remember:

If they will do it WITH you, they will do it TO you.

If this guy is wanting a divorce, why has he not yet filed? Even if his wife is still in love with him and does not want the divorce, he still can at least file. It would be a longer process, but if he is not happy with her, it would be worth the wait to end one chapter before starting another with you. If he respects you, he will end it with her 1st.

Also, if you expect a long term relationship with him, think again. It is said that only 2% of relationships that get started as an affair will end up in marriage.

So think with your head. As stated previously by others on this thread, "walk - don't run to the nearest exit", because at the end of the day, no one will have your best interest at heart, but you.

GAsoccerman

Yep, Dump and run, he will not get divorce, and if he does, he won't stay faithful to you.

only married 7 months? how long have you two been together??

This is nuts!

draconis

He is playing you, otherwise he would have filed already.

draconis

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AZMOMOFTWO

Your relationship is based on lies. If he plans to have divorced his wife, he would have separated by now. You are being played and you are doing something you should not. You need to move on. If he were already divorced then he'd be free to date. In love or not, this is not the right thing to do. You need to cut him lose and move on.

I will share something with you. My husband cheated. We are in the process of rebuilding. He told the other woman he planned to leave me. He never planned to, its why he lied to me. He didn't want a divorce but he told her whatever he needed to. Sometimes he believed some of the things he told her mostly he lied to her. She believed all of it. I asked him why, and he said its because he was missing something in our marriage and wanted it back. I asked him why he didn't leave and he said because he always loved me and was just being selfish. However, when I found out and asked him to leave he knew that is not what he wanted, he hasn't talked to her since. This will happen to you.

If not, then ask yourself why he has not left her yet.

voivod

the guy that i been "messin' around with???"

does the respect he has for you even approach the amount of respect you give to him? (sarcasm)

do yourself a favor. when you're "messin' around with him" think about his poor wife...

and try to not cry...

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separated, honoring wife and family daily, she deserves the best me i can give her.


4 kids g18, g12, g11, b7

draconis

Okay let's say at one point you get him, since he has so little respect for marriage and relationship do you really believe he isn't going to cheat on you too?

draconis

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*Aceso*

That's something to remember.

Also, I'd like to say that if you really love him and he really loves you why don't you take a break and let him talk to his wife and see if they are truly over. If they can't work thing out and he is living away from her then start seeing him again. But personally I think he's playing you big time. He is just scared of commitment. And for you... How can you let things get that far? If he told you at the beginning that he's married you should've told him where to go and found yourself a man with no baggage. Or are you the one who is scared of commitment too? Just wondering....

lovinmyhusband

gagirl08... i am from ga too. i am very compelled by your story and would love to talk to you about it..did yall see each other before they were married??how does he find the time to see you and get away from his wife?you got to give us a lil more info girl!!