moose

I told my wife I was not in love with her 2 months ago. We are married for 20 years and have 3 great kids. 2 gone off to college and youngest is 17. I know I have never truly been in love with her. We have been more like best friends, room mates. We have never had a great sexual relationship. She has never been interested very much at all in the bedroom. I have tried talking to her many many times over the years and she said she just is not interested or just lacks sex drive. she would never go see the doctor.

She has always had a temper and is a very controlling person. Over the past 3-4 years she has not been very happy and I have asked her a lot why not and she just won't talk about it. She doesn't have to work, maybe that is the problem.

The past year she has been very angry, unhappy and always *****y with me and the kids.

I have been living in a shell and have been afraid of her and her angry self.

I have not been able to do the things I like to do and basicial have learned only to do the stuff she likes to do.

Enough is enough and I finally have stoud up to her and told her I am not happy, don't love her etc etc. She says she reallized she has taken me for grantite and knows she was not happy.

We have tried to fix thing over past 2 months, one minute she is happy tells she loves me so much and than snaps. I will not fight back. I moved out a week and half ago.

She and the kids are begging me to come back home. I know I don't love her and have not been happy for a very long time. I am done being controlled and told what to do all the time.

Please advise, I am 99.5% sure I have done the right thing.

Jellybeans

Then do herself and yourself a favor and file for divorce & be done.

No point in stringing someone along for another 20 years pretending to be happy or pretending to be contented with a marriage when you are not.

Do you happen to be having an affair? Just curious.

alphaomega

I think you've just discovered boundary reinforcement in a marriage quite by accident and taken it off to an extreme start.

Go here and read this, see if it describes you....

The Man Up and Nice Guy Reference

Then, go check out marriedmansexlife.com.

Her results are typical. You showed her the consequence of her bad behavior. She very well may want you back. And she may be more apt to accept change now too. The question is if you want to work on things now.
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lonelyman

no your not, or you wouldnt be here asking for advice

Jellybeans

^ This.

I thought the SAME thing when I read that 99.5% line but didn't type it.