Does this program work? I was just trying to get some feedback, as I seen the sticky above on the program and have check the website out, but seen no reviews/feedback about people using the program.
Re: Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program- Work??
I like Mort's free advice but can't really evaluate the entire program well because my marriage isn't in trouble. I also haven't received much of the material - all I got was a book a few year's ago.
I have been hearing a lot of good things about Dr. Ellen's LightYourFire program lately. A few members have posted positive things about it. When Russell first signed up, he kept posting about how great it was, and I deleted his account because I thought he was a spammer! I felt bad, he really was excited about it I guess. (We get a lot of spam, so it's hard to tell sometimes). Dr. Ellen also sent me her CD's and I listened to one. It was really good, down to earth advice I thought.
Recently, I just started getting the free advice from Save My Marriage Today because I'm advertising it on the site, and so far it's pretty good, but I'm only on day 3.
Re: Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program- Work??
Reviews of any of these programs would be awesome. I have been considering purchasing one (I to get Mort Fertels free advice) but I am skeptical because if it sounds too good to be ture it probably is. So any input anyone has would be greatly appreciated.
Re: Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program- Work??
Oh and I was thinking the the Mort Fertel might be better because you actually get to talk to someone...where as with the "Light my fire" program you are listening to the CD's and you have a workbook....sometimes not every situation is so cookie cutter.
Re: Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program- Work??
I'm pretty sure Dr. Ellen (LightYourFire) offers some free advice through email. At least she told me she did a few months ago... maybe I can get her to post here...
The important thing to consider with any self-help program or marriage counseling, is that they're only going to work if you put forth the effort and are willing to change. You can listen to a therapist or CD all day long, but if you don't make changes in the way you deal with situations and people in your life, then nothing will change.
In other words, "if nothing changes, nothing will change." (popular saying in mental health field)
Re: Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program- Work??
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris H.
I'm pretty sure Dr. Ellen (LightYourFire) offers some free advice through email. At least she told me she did a few months ago... maybe I can get her to post here...
The important thing to consider with any self-help program or marriage counseling, is that they're only going to work if you put forth the effort and are willing to change. You can listen to a therapist or CD all day long, but if you don't make changes in the way you deal with situations and people in your life, then nothing will change.
In other words, "if nothing changes, nothing will change." (popular saying in mental health field)
I agree.....but my concern is right now I feel like I am the one that wants it to work and my husband doesnt....according to the testimonials on her site and the others their motos seem to be "its never too late to fix it". I am willing to do whatever I have to do...but I am still skeptical thats why if maybe I could get some input from someone other than what is posted on their websites it might make my decision easier.
Re: Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program- Work??
What I first discovered is to change MY attitude and by doing so your spouse will come around too. I just got the CD set and started listening today. So far I love it. It resonates with what makes sense and I think DUH! Why didn't I do these things years ago. After reading his free advice, something clicked, work on reconnecting. No accusations or having to work out issues. Mort said when you first fell in love did you have trouble communicating...Uh no...in fact words were not needed we just knew. I want THAT back. Yes, it takes work and its not overnight. Anway, I look forward to hearing the rest of this book. After reading the advice he had, I decided I would be positive regardless. In my case I think we were drifting and probably feeling much of the same thing. Neither of us talked about it we ignored it in our own ways. We don't fight, she still have sex (but it got a bit routine), and we still do nice things out of the blue but something was missing. Then I began to work on myself, I always wanted to get back in to shape so I threw myself in to it 100% and feel good about the changes so far and I noticed that boosted my positive attitude. That being done, I made some other changes around the house, dinner on the table every night by 6:30 (we live a crazy life so I would have thought impossible but it wasn't) which helps with getting in shape and no more 9pm dinners or figuring out what is for dinner at 9pm, dinner at the dinner table rather than in front of the t.v. (except once in awhile), more patience with the kids. Then I am doing some things just to put a little fun, spontanaity and mystery back in to our relationship. We had lunch today, and we both had a really good time. Just the 2 of us, no kids. We have a family day planned Saturday and I invited him on a date Sunday which I've kept a mystery and he texts me asking for hints. Its been only 2 weeks since we discovered we had an issue. After 20+ years together I am surprised it took that long, but then I look back at the things we used to do for each other and I know why...but when did we stop. Anyway so far its a 2 thumbs up but I'll get back to you when I read more.
Re: Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program- Work??
Quote:
Originally Posted by AZMOMOFTWO
What I first discovered is to change MY attitude and by doing so your spouse will come around too. I just got the CD set and started listening today. So far I love it. It resonates with what makes sense and I think DUH! Why didn't I do these things years ago. After reading his free advice, something clicked, work on reconnecting. No accusations or having to work out issues. Mort said when you first fell in love did you have trouble communicating...Uh no...in fact words were not needed we just knew. I want THAT back. Yes, it takes work and its not overnight. Anway, I look forward to hearing the rest of this book. After reading the advice he had, I decided I would be positive regardless. In my case I think we were drifting and probably feeling much of the same thing. Neither of us talked about it we ignored it in our own ways. We don't fight, she still have sex (but it got a bit routine), and we still do nice things out of the blue but something was missing. Then I began to work on myself, I always wanted to get back in to shape so I threw myself in to it 100% and feel good about the changes so far and I noticed that boosted my positive attitude. That being done, I made some other changes around the house, dinner on the table every night by 6:30 (we live a crazy life so I would have thought impossible but it wasn't) which helps with getting in shape and no more 9pm dinners or figuring out what is for dinner at 9pm, dinner at the dinner table rather than in front of the t.v. (except once in awhile), more patience with the kids. Then I am doing some things just to put a little fun, spontanaity and mystery back in to our relationship. We had lunch today, and we both had a really good time. Just the 2 of us, no kids. We have a family day planned Saturday and I invited him on a date Sunday which I've kept a mystery and he texts me asking for hints. Its been only 2 weeks since we discovered we had an issue. After 20+ years together I am surprised it took that long, but then I look back at the things we used to do for each other and I know why...but when did we stop. Anyway so far its a 2 thumbs up but I'll get back to you when I read more.
So you are doing Mort Fertels program????
I have been reading alot of your posts and it seems that you and I have some similarities in our situation. Let me know how it works for you =)
Re: Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program- Work??
Stumped,
Yes! I bought the Marriage Fitness CD set. I liked what I hear so far so I will keep you posted. But so far I'd recommend it for any couple, trouble or not.
Re: Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program- Work??
Hi Chris,
You can get me to respond anytime, day or night, holiday or not. I value your site and everything you are doing to support relationships. I want to respond to 2 things that “Stumped” has said. First, the belief that “if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.” I know that I would not be alive today if I had held that belief. When I was originally diagnosed with breast cancer in 1991, my surgeon said I would be lucky to live another 5 years because of the type of cancer I had and the fact that it had spread to my lymph glands. I went to 5 doctors to get more opinions. Each one, in their own way, told me that that I only had a 20% chance of survival and there was very little they could do. One of them told me straight out, to get my affairs in order as soon as possible. I kept searching until I found a doctor who had lots of success stories and told me that I was not a statistic and no one could measure the human will to live. I am still his patient 17 years later!
The next thing I would like to address is the fact that she said, “My concern is right now I feel like I am the one that wants it to work and my husband doesn’t.” I don’t think that is true. I believe that her husband does want it to work. He just doesn’t know what to do to make that happen and therefore feels helpless to change the way he relates to his wife. Most people do not realize that feelings can change in an instant. There is a saying, "If you are facing in the right direction, all you need to do is keep on walking." My life's work is to point people in the right direction so they can love, laugh and deeply connect with each other just like they did in the beginning.
In order to accomplish that, I have developed 2 very different programs, one for men and one for women. I personally feel that when you are both listening to the same information, it's always watered down so that neither of you gets embarrassed or offended. I don't have that problem. When I teach a woman exactly what to say and do to have her husband fall back in love with her, it's for her ears only! When I teach a man what his wife needs in order for her to respond to him again, it's for his ears only! I can be as honest and direct as I need to be.
After doing this for so many years, I really believe that no matter how cold, distant or angry a husband may be right now, deep inside, there is a warm, tender man with a heart of gold. I think that every woman just needs to learn how to bring out the best in him. If a woman is thinking, “Why do I have to do all the work?” she doesn’t! All she has to do is get her husband to commit to listen to his own set for 15 minutes each day on his way to and from work. Whatever she has tried to tell him, I will do it so that he really gets it! Once he understands how easy it is to give a woman the emotional support, understanding, tenderness she needs, he will become a man that is truly worthy of his wife’s love.
Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program- Work??
