I need Advice Dont know what to do!!!!! Please! - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 07-13-2011, 12:32 PM Thread Starter
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Unhappy I need Advice Dont know what to do!!!!! Please!

So I feel like I cheated on my partner we arnt merried but have been living together for now 7 yrs have 3 children, I don't know what to do. It has to do with my friend and her husband.

My Friend and her husband now have become the god parents to one of my son, and they are really good friends or should i say with me were.... my friends husband wich is my partners friend as started out by texting me messages on asking me for advice with their problems i would advice him to talk to her and to fix the problem... then he continued with txting more privet and privet problems they had for example she does not fullfill me i need more what should i do? i did not feel that was right and told him to just talk to her and make things work.... so then one day he txt me he did not know whats wrong with him he is attractd to me he wantd to have sex and has dreams about me and i did not feel comfortable with that because he was my sons godparent and my friends husband and on top my partners friend.... so i told him to stop telling me that stuff and he had made his choice by marring my friend and that i would never do anything to hurt her... he said sorry please dont act diffrently when we are around and i promise not to tell you anything again. so i was like ok.... then he would keep txting me about same things asking me how i liked it and things and this went on for a couple months. then i decided to play his game and show my friend the txt so she knew what she had as a husband. for my bad luck that night she came over and i was wiling to tell her then and she just left right away.... later that night i recive a txt from her saying "the things you read on ppls phone wow" i new then what she was telling me.This is not the first time she catches her husband txting it has happend before with his ex too.

I talked to her and she thinks i liked the txt and that we knew what we were doing and the only affected one was her and i should of had balls to confront the problem earlier...... My intenttion was never to hurt anyone especialy her and now i feel guilty i feel like its my fault that her relationship is breaking they both asked me to not tell my partner that their is no point it will just hurt him but me i feel guilty i feel like i cheatd on my husband now i feel lower then dirt.I feel like i don't have the right to tell demand things with my partner like to help with the kids so so and I don't want to break their frinedship. I know i can gain or loose with my partner but we exactly have not been ok on my side of the relationship he never takes out time for one on one he always puts the kids as an excuse to not do things always i cant go to school because of the kids so now its like I don't KNOW IF I SHOULD TELL HIM OR NOT TELL HIM? I did not want to hurt my friend and she is hurt i do not want to hurt my partner and i know he will not understand what should i do please help me to me its a big deal cuz i would talk crap about other girls that did the same thing i did I thought I could of told her sooner it was so hard and now i am one of them OMG i cant live like this!


Last edited by *qt*; 07-13-2011 at 12:39 PM.
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-24-2012, 04:07 AM
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Re: I need Advice Dont know what to do!!!!! Please!

In the future, if you're going to tell, tell the first time you get a text. Exchanging texts for a month means you are a party to them. The one maxim I try to abide by is to never get between two people who routinely have sex. I assume their loyalty to each other is greater than either's is to me. If their relationship breaks up because I ratted one out, I would be blamed. If their relationship survives, it would be them against me. The guy put you in a very uncomfortable, unwinnable position. Still, he gives his wife orgasms and you don't. He probably helps put groceries on her table and you don't. He can apologize to his wife and have great makeup sex. You'll still be on the outs with her. I think the smartest move would have been to firmly tell the guy "no" at the onset and then just not reply to any more texts and to avoid any chance of being alone with him. Nobody sends texts forever to someone who isn't responding.
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-24-2012, 06:41 AM
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Re: I need Advice Dont know what to do!!!!! Please!

YOU need to tell your partner. If you don't, your friend or Mr. Texter will find a REALLY bad time to do so (because you ratted Mr. Texter out and let his girlfriend know he's a cheater.)
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-24-2012, 07:39 AM
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Re: I need Advice Dont know what to do!!!!! Please!

You accepted his sex texts for a couple of months.

Then something happened and you decided to burn him.

I find it hard to believe that you are as innocent as you portray in your post.

Hes a dog. You got the fleas.

The first question should always be, "If it's that bad, why are you still there?

OK, you screwed up, it happens. Now apologize. But apologize just once. Make it loud, clear, short, to the point, and directly to those you trespassed against. Then move on.
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