Is it bad or normal that im worried if getting married was the right thing? - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 07-15-2011, 05:13 PM Thread Starter
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Is it bad or normal that im worried if getting married was the right thing?

My husband and I have been married for 3 weeks but been together for 5 years. We are young and have been together since high school. We do not have any kids we have stayed together because we wanted to be together not because we felt we had to.

Here's my issue. In the past I have always been a worry wart? always questioning the what-if always wondering if something was the right thing. While we were dating we broke up twice both for a week and always got back together. They were always his decision but we were both faithful. 3 years into our relationship (I had these feelings for a year) I started to feel like i didn't know if i was really happy with him or if I was just comfortable and that's why i was sticking through and was kinda depressed. So I was honest and I asked for a break and I went to live with my sister. I lasted a week. I didn't want to be without him. From that point on I would occasionally have the thoughts but we worked though them. Meantime i started back at college and into some other things. We got engaged in Feb of 2010 and I felt a little of the feelings come back but the went away. Now I'm sitting here 3 weeks into a new marriage and I am asking myself the same questions ( do i love him, am i in love with him, did i want to get married, am i happy) as before. I don't know what it is. I don't know if its because finally slowing down the reality is setting in or if I just get this anxiety that happen every time I make a big life changing decision. I could use some advice

Like I stated before I am a person who worries alot
I am a planner
I am someone who does not like what-ifs so they eat at me
I do most of my worrying/thinking when I don't have anything to do

I do not plan on leaving my husband I know I love him i just need to know if what im going through is normal

He is a good man. We have been together since I was 16 and he was 18. Aside from the times that he broke up with me cause he felt I needed to grow up a little he has always been there for me. From my dad dying to my mom remarrying to the whole year of me doubting us and wither i loved him. Hes a hard worker who loves me. I know it hurts him/ annoys him when i tell him things that im worrying about (he knew everything i felt everytime i had a slight doubt he even knows about this) I tell him because i have to talk about it otherwise it eats me up inside. I have to tell him because if i dont i feel like im hiding something from him and with the there must be some truth.

sometime i feel like i get this way/ feel this way because we have been together for so long and i am comfortable as well as i still wonder about the what-ifs and things i never did or will get to do.

Hope this helps. I really appreciate yalls advice

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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 07-15-2011, 05:59 PM
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 17,203
Re: Is it bad or normal that im worried if getting married was the right thing?

It's not necessarily bad and it's not abnormal but it isn't productive. You are married, so give 100% into being married. The questions you ponder might have been helpful months ago but now they are pointless distractions. I can save you a little time. Is he perfect for you? Are you perfect for him? Nope and nope. Nobody is or ever can be perfect. That's why we have "forgiveness". Will you both argue and have problems? You bet.
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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 07-15-2011, 09:15 PM
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,081
Re: Is it bad or normal that im worried if getting married was the right thing?

I still wonder that and it's been 12 years. LOL
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