07-17-2011, 07:56 PM
Join Date: Jul 2011
| | Complicated :-(
Hoping someone can give me some advice. I will try and keep it as short as possible:
I am 25 and have been with my boyfriend since i was 16. We spend all our time together and are very open with each other. He's very generous with me, protects me and i couldn't imagine life without him.
Lately, we have got extremely adventurous sexually. He expressed an interest in all sorts of fetishes - all of which i have agreed to and not felt under pressure at all. We have spent alot of money on toys, outfits & props and he looks at other things.
Well, i have found out that he has been chatting online to other women - looking for an online Mistres. He is very open with them - telling them ANYTHING they want to know about him. He has payed a few of them money as they have demanded it, sent them pictures of himself, tells them he will do anything they want him to, has payed them for their used underwear to send him. The women have asked him if he has a girlfriend and he said ‘yes and love her so much but i like to be kinky’. There are hundreds of sent messages to different women and i know that he emails them while at work, in my company, any time of the day. You can only imagine what has been said in all these emails. By the way stumbled across them when i went to log into my emails and his were sitting there.
I feel devastated, obviously, but feel that i can only either keep quiet or break up with him. I cannot talk to him about it as he will just get more sly about it so this will solve nothing. My reason for posting on here is i need some outside advice. I cant talk to anyone i know as im embarrassed.
He is my best friend - i tell him my secrets, all about my day, ask his advice, spend all my time with him, do most things together etc. I just dont know how i can get past this, will he ever meet these people, where do the emails stop, where does the paying money stop, is this just a phase??? The thought of breaking up with him makes me feel sick, the thought of going further in life this way and regretting it makes me feel sick, and the thought of breaking up with him and regretting it makes me feel sick. This does not enter my head alot, as i dont want to throw our relationship away over it, but this is something ive kept to myself for a while and i have considered all sorts.
This is just the outline, i could be here all day writing everything. Please dont be nasty and call me an idiot coz im sure thats what i look like, i really genuinely need some advice / opinions - anyone been through anything similar etc?