I'm redhot. She's Ice cold - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 09-20-2007, 07:06 AM Thread Starter
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I'm redhot. She's Ice cold

Love Hurts. First I am head over heals in love with my wife. We have been married 10 years and have two daughters 9 and 6. It's not that our marriage was perfect, as raising two children takes some of the passion away from a marriage, but all in all it was good I believe.
We hit a stumbling block about 6 month ago when she started treating me very cold. Then our daughter became seriously ill (shes ok now) and it was if she hated me. Lately all the flames have been rekindled in my heart for her and I am head over heals for her. She on the other hand is very cold and it is as if she has lost all attraction for me. She says she bekieves she is going through a midlife crisis and that I need to be patient. I try to ramance her ,set aside our time but she apears to have no interest in rekindling her own feelings. She just turned 40 and did seem very depressed and discouraged. To me she is the most beautiful woman in the world and daily I tell her so with little notes and such. I have never recieved a little note in return.
I really don't think she is cheating (physically) on me but I do wonder if some guy has captured her heart. Her emotional detatchment to me has made me cry more times in the last month than all times in my life put together. I am so deeply in love and want our family to stat together. How do I get het to communicate what is going on in her head. I want to work through this as there is no other woman in the world I want. Pleeeeeeeease help or advise.

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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 09-26-2007, 11:28 AM
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Re: I'm redhot. She's Ice cold

My heart goes out to you. I have personally not had any experiences where I would shut my husband out so I could not begin to imagine what your wife is going through. From the way you talk about her it sounds like you are very devoted and have tried everything possible. Have you suggested going to counseling? Or maybe just a trip to her doctor to discuss depression or early menapause?

Good luck!
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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 10-03-2007, 10:30 PM
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Re: I'm redhot. She's Ice cold

My heart goes out to you too.

My wife and I went through the same thing a little more then a year ago. It seemed we just where breaking apart. It got down to an arguement our 7th in 10 years together. But the srguement opened up communications too.

I also had talked with my wife's brother who gave me insight into her and how better to approach her. You see it was that she wanted something and I didn't have a problem with it but how things happened. (She wanted to goto college and signed up, I wanted to help make the decisions since my work had to change to accomidate her.)

Children should never be used as a reason fire is low in a relationship. I have four from 12 to one years old. They haven't every dampened my relationship with the wife.

I think you need to open up communications. If you can't do it yourself get a cousilor involved.

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