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Old 11-10-2008, 10:05 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Heading for separation

Ok. how stupid is this? I told you yesterday (24 hours and few minutes ago) that we had a serious talk and he was going to change. Well, knock me over with a feather. He is a piece of poo like I thought he was. He was going to help with kids, help around the house.....I think it's time to wake up. Here is waht happened so far.

Last night he was sort of ok. He didn't talk much but I didn't feel like talking either (too tired emotionaly). He watched bit of TV with kids and that's a lot more then he did in years so he scores a point there.
Anyway, this morning I was woken up by him yelling at our daughter like a mad man. I got up and asked him what happened and he said that he was yelling at her because she woke up so early (15 minutes before the alarm goes off). I asked him if she woke him up and he said no. He was up already but wasn't in the mood for her little songs. Apparently she was humming in her bedroom.
Then while I was making breakfast and getting kids ready for school he told me that I have to take him to the doctor at 9AM. When I asked why I have to take him he told me that he has no gas in his car. He knew since last Wednesday that he had doctors appointment. Also he asked me for money for the Dr bill. I told him I only had $10 in my bag and I had a lotto ticket that won $65 so he can have that. He started yelling at me because that means he has to stop at the corner shop to cash in the ticket and he will be late. I told him that's his only option as I am not running to the ATM now and I told him that he can borrow my car but I am not taking him as I promised kids that we would walk to school this morning. That would mean that he would be late for the appointment because I will not be back before 8.45AM. He was mad s hell by then. I just ignored him.
When he got back from the doctor I asked him what did the doctor say and his answer was:"Not much." Then he went to play his game.
Little while later he came back and told me that I will have to ring my boss and tell her that I can't go to work today because my mum rang up and said that she can't look after the kids today because her back hurts really bad and she can't get out of bed. She has atheritis on her lower back. I told him that I am not taking a day off because he is not working this week so he can look after the kids. He got angry and told me that I should've told him earlier that he will have to pick up kids from school and that he will be looking after them. I got mad by then too and just told him with a smirk on my face that I am sorry but my crystal ball isn't working lately so I wasn't able to predict my mum's illness and I will see if I can get it fixed today. That didn't go down too well so he just slammed the door and went to bed. He's been sleeping since.
Call me stupid but if you are supposed to be changing, this is not how you are supposed to be acting, right? I will see how he goes with kids today but if there is even one complaint that he didn't spend time with them and that he set on his computer all day there will be hell to pay. I swear I will hit him where it hurts the most. No, I am not talking about his private parts. I will mess up his computers. All 3 of them.
And just for the record, I am hating the person I have become but he pushed me too far.
GAME OVER!
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Old 11-10-2008, 11:06 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Heading for separation

Hi Aceso,

Happy to see a fellow aussie here , but sorry to hear about your marrage problems

I know it's very easy to fight back anger with anger, but rarely will that solve anything. I'm sensing you're being misunderstood, and your husband isn't fully being understood either. Either he's doesn't know how to express it, or he doesn't know what's really bothering him.

I'd see what else is bothering him. I know it'll require your patience and for you to hold your tongue, but you'll come out a better person on the other side for it.

Just try to have a good heart to heart talk to him. Tell him you don't want to fight or argue, but let him know want to know what's bothering him. Tell him that you care. Depending on what he's like, this may take a bit of time, but give him the space if he needs it before he comes out and talks to you. He may genuinely have something that's bothering him.
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