TimR

My wife and I are talking about doing an open marriage.

Homemaker_Numero_Uno

It sounds so contrived.
My advice, why not just go and make porn films as a couple.
It sounds like a lot of work, might as well get paid for the effort.
And you can even have someone else do the sexually transmitted disease and creepy unstable emotionally partner investigation/background checks too.
Plus you get commemorative DVDs of your experience so you can enjoy the moments over and over again.

Sorry, I realize some people do enjoy this lifestyle but to me it just sounds like a lot of work for very little above and beyond what you could get from a committed relationship. Maybe even going backwards, and getting less.

SockPuppet

This might just be the penis in me, but whats the difference between oral and handjobs, and sex?

Comfort level? Cultural programming? Religious programming?

If you can watch another man pleasuring your wife with something other than his penis, while she reciprocates, then what is the issue of intercourse? I honestly dont get it. Enough of the rant.


Make sure your wife and you are on 100% same page. Be respectful of each other, even when not in the same "party". Take it slow, learn the ropes and make sure your wife has at least as much fun as you have. If you and your W can disconnect emotionally from the act, you should have no problems. But slow, slow slow!~!!

Entropy3000

Something to consider:

Married Man Sex Life: How a Bad MMF Leads to Polyamory Weakly

TeaLeaves4

"Besides we are in our honeymoon period right now so I'm going to use her as much as I can first."

Entropy3000

Well his problem is that these other men are going to get past the used part anyway.

The thing is that the above while commonly said as a crude joke to people like this, is actually very true in so many ways. Not just the size of his taliwhacker ( porkys reference ). Everything about him is going to be evaluated by the wife compared to each and every other man. He is an automatic loser in her eyes because an Alpha male would never allow this type of access to his mate by another man to begin with.

I like the way Athol approaches this from a logical and pragmatic perspective attempting to appeal to the man's reason ( ugh ) that this just may not be the way to go. There are more men that are into this. BUT of that group, there are only going to be a small number of uber Alphas that dominate. The other men end up sharing their wives with them. I can only guess that for the most of them, the wife is worth losing to gain entry to this club.

Ultimately, even as debasing as the comments are about using his wife, the woman ends up with all of the power. She is his entry ticket. This whole thing may ultimately disgust her and would be horribly cruel if he coerces her into this world against her wishes. So this could start as pure abuse. Then if she starts to revel in it she ends up having many men to choose from and to compare to him to them. So he is cuckolded to the max.

I see a lot of this cuckold stuff in many of these threads. I do not think this is a Beta thing at all. It sure is not Alpha. So it is something altogether on its own. Sometimes it is subtle and at other times it is in your face. I am thankful that I have less than zero interest in sharing my wife with anyone in this manner, including another woman, being emasculated and / or humiliated. I am not wired for it. This is above and beyond what Athol is saying. This is not even any kind of fantasy for me. I suppose if this is just a fantasy for some folks and it is never acted on in the real world then have at it. It is just that if you fantasize about things too much, they just might happen.

michzz

I get so tired of the trolling activities when there are real, serious relationship issues to discuss.

Syrum

Yep get in there and use her good.

Then have other men use her and don't forget to use her as much as possible to get into other women's pants.

Then when she's all good and used up and your marriage is in shambles you can get divorced and move on.

Oh and don't forget more men are into this thing then women, she will have far more men to choose from then you will women.

bs193

.......and to put icing on the cake, have children so you may spread the mental anguish as if it were Christmas Joy!

Seriously, assuming this isn't a troll, if this stuff interests you, why get married at all?

morituri

This is the side about open 'marriages' that doesn't get much exposure.

Men who don't have 'game' - which a great number of married men don't - often rue the day they convinced their wives to try it. But if your sexual fetish is the one sided open marriage of the hotwife or MFM 3somes then the two you will have plenty opportunities and adventures.

Just keep in mind that it can still blow up in your faces and end your marriage especially if jealousy and mistrust enter into the game because your wife starts falling in love with one of her lovers - women have a harder time compartmentalizing sex from love than men.

__________________
"Man is not a rational animal, he is a rationalizing animal." Robert A. Heinlein

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RandomDude

I would love to show off the missus, like showing off your car, checking out the engine, interior, sound system hehe... but doesn't mean they can drive it!

Even though it turns me on like crazy, I respect the missus' wishes not to do it, and furthermore, I have a very high respect and trust in her due to her refusing to do it. I think that's much better then what just lust can give you.

paramore

DO NOT DO IT!!!! That is all I have to say, horrible mistake, been there done that.

the gifted

what is open in Normal marriage?

AvaTara539

These people posting need to do some research... children of parents in polyamorous relationships do not have more "issues" growing up! If that's what you truly want to do, do it. Screw the haters!! (not literally )