It sounds like the wife is depressed and is going into depression and food for comfort.
People can change their state in an instant by changing their physiology, focus and language. If people can change their state in an instant, why do people stay in depression?
The reason is because they get rewarded from it.
You say rewarded for it? That's ridiculous, greatermindset, you were fine up to now, but now you're just crazy.
No seriously, hear me out. I've spoken in previous posts about the 6 human needs. For the wife, it's a way for her to meet some of those needs. The 6 human needs are:
4. Connection and Love
Depression is a state that the wife is a pattern that she's probably very good at and can attain that state in an instant, by pulling her shoulders down, putting her down, saying certain things in her mind to get her depressed, saying it in a certain tone in her head, maybe putting her hand up to her forehead, breathing shallow etc. So she's certain
she can go into depression. That meets the 1st need.
Depression can also give her a variety
from the day to day repeatative life cycle. This normally doesn't last and normally they break out of depression into an angry state, or pissed off state, or grumpy state, etc.
Depression for her gives her sympathy from others so it can make her feel significance
for a short amount of time.
Depression can also allows her to connect
to herself. So this fulfills the 4th need, connection and love.
That's 4 needs being met there. 3 or more needs at scores of 5-6s would become an addiction.
Depression is a means for her to attain her needs at low levels. It's not very fulfilling or rewarding and she can snap out of it at any time once she's build up an awareness of it.
Depression or any state of emotion is not something that happens to us, it's an emotion we go to. We can choose to go to any emotion at any time, and select any moment in our time to be put in front of us to recall any state we wish.
All we do is:
Change our physiology, focus and language. Physiology changes our biochemistry and is one of the most effective ways to change our states. If we want to be happy, we can close our eyes and think of a time when we were happy. Think of all the things that made us happy, smile when we smiled when we were happy, move like we moved when we were happy
Being in a certain state requires us to run certain patterns. It's that simple. Some people have been running certain patterns all their life, and they've become great at them. The question is, is it serving them for the better or worse?
What I would suggest doing is find out what the wife really needs. Talk to her and really listen to what she needs. If she's after love, find another means for her to feel loved. She doesn't have to go to depression to get it. You can also find out specifically what has to happen for her to feel loved simply by asking her that question. It may provide an insight and bring you both closer together.
Make sure she understands you're coming from a place of love and you care about her. Let us know how your go. Good luck with it Apple.