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Old 07-24-2011, 06:29 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Cold Hearted

My sbtx is getting ready to move out. I'm very happy she is doing this but to her its an exciting thing. She seems to have no care for the impact it will have on our child, none.

Its all exciting for her but the end of the family in the little ones eyes

I understand the excitement she has, won't go there, but it just strikes me a a cold heart towards our little one. Its going to send a confusing message to see mommy all happy about the end of the family.

How can a mother be so cold?
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Old 07-24-2011, 06:34 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Cold Hearted

Maybe she is a ting up. Ending a marriage is hard on both sides and she might just want to play strong and look like she has everything under control. No one knows how she really feels. You just have to be positive too, and show your little one that evrything will be ok and deal with everything step by step. On the other hand, she might be cold, but right now she doesn't matter. You have someone else to protect from all this misery
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Old 07-24-2011, 06:50 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Cold Hearted

Is there a possibility she could be thinking that by being positive and happy, she's trying to help the little one not have traumatic memories attached?

Have you spoken to her about this, about how it affects your child?
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Old 07-24-2011, 08:20 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Cold Hearted

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Originally Posted by Wheels65 View Post
How can a mother be so cold?
Sadly many mothers are cold. I should know I have one. Not every woman cares more about their kids than themselves. Many are quite selfish. The best you can do it focus on your child and not worry about what your stbxw is doing.
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Old 07-24-2011, 08:29 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Cold Hearted

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Originally Posted by heartsbreaking View Post
Is there a possibility she could be thinking that by being positive and happy, she's trying to help the little one not have traumatic memories attached?

Have you spoken to her about this, about how it affects your child?
That is a very good point. Even if it's not the reason, maybe you could hop on board and be positive about it too? She will still visit right? Many couples separate because of jobs or have to leave on duty for months or years, children are resilient and as long as she is a part of her child's life and you are positive about her to your child, it could be a good thing for your little one. Perhaps... you are actually sad about it? Are you hurt because she is not showing sadness and you feel sadness? just curious. :-)
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Old 07-24-2011, 08:36 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Cold Hearted

Thanks all

I'm a very positive person, sometimes I like to vent.

She has a history of alcoholism, she is doing better these days but still has relapses. I'm am and always have been clean.

Not sure why she went this way years ago but she did. I've stood by her until I discovered her EAs that turned to PAs, no speculation on this aspect. In fact I'm the only one in the family who stood fast through most of her drama.

I'm sure our little one will be fine Sometimes humanity makes me wonder...self included

Edit...it sucks to say this but due to her booze problems and affairs I'm glad our marriage is over for both our child and myself. I hope she finds happiness out there in something

Yes heartsbreraking I've spoken to her, but talking to an alcoholic is at best a very one sided conversation even when they are sober in my experience. Love your avatar BTW

Last edited by Wheels65; 07-24-2011 at 09:10 PM.
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