Jealousy is not the best word to describe the feelings in some of these cases, disappointment would be a better word!
I have issues with my wife's past and have searched for some kind of relief by reading hundreds of these types of posts, it always boils down to the same stand off.... women defending their lifestyle! so guys like us are, weak, insecure, old fashioned, then you get the guys that feed off of the promiscuous women and say guys like us are f*#ked and should just enjoy the "experience" our wife's can offer? and you get the sympathetic people that say, your wife picked you!! you are the one!! she loves you!! or she would be with one of her ex's you won her heart!! really?? to me this is all Blah, Blah, Blah! I am sure she was in love a few time before me too! all that has been shared with many already so nothing realy original there!
If, and I say If, you knew going in "ALL " about your wife's past, then no you have nothing to complain about unless! she is rubbing it in your face, bringing up stuff from her past to hurt or she is showing signs of dis trust, but if it all was revealed before hand and she is treating you with....here is a big word..."respect" then you have no grounds to torment her!
In my case I knew my wife was no virgin in the beginning, she was married before for 10years, had a son and admitted to a "couple" relationships and a "few" dates before we met!
Before we married I asked some personal questions about her past and she said no nothing happened out of the ordinary, her and her ex husband just grew apart and had some in-law family pressures, as for her ex boyfriends nothing special just dating some last a few months but that was about it!
Unfortunately I found out over a few months period after we were married, she was lying and had a very "busy" sexual lifestyle, which also included cheating on her ex husband with a renter they had in their basement while her ex was working shift work, she had an abortion with this guy and after him came 8 or 9 more in a 4 year period "that I know of" including one nighters, clubbing, old man dating (guys much older than her) etc etc etc. when I did question some of this (not the affair or abortion) but the extra men and her motives, she will blow a fit and deny and of course, come out with the time honored....I am insecure, judgmental etc etc Blah, Blah!!
One day in the near future I will drop the bomb on all this, but for now I do love her very much, we are happy "most" of the time, she seems to be able to live with it all with no regrets (as she has told me ion the past) so I dont like think of my wife in the way I do but, it haunts me every day it hurts our sex life, even though we attribute it to my lack of performance and Cialis is the cure! I have huge lack of respect for her past and her views on it!
To the Anti people of these posts, you realy have to walk a mile in the shoes of people who are experiencing these problems before you can offer any advice, it is like telling a drug addict, alcoholic or gambler to just...STOP! well not so easy, when you love someone, commit to them, share everything but you find out they are keeping things from you...."that are important to you" it can turn your life up side down! someone on here said, dont share any of your past, someone else said your past is no ones business?? what a load of ****! seriously, think about those comments, would you want your most trusted person in the world keeping things from you? and if they have a mindset about views you feel very strongly about, do you not think these should be discussed, explained and put to rest? I also hear dont judge me!! again what does this mean? dont judge me? why not? you, me, everybody is judged on our past, our performance our attitudes every day, our entire life is judged to get where we are or what we want, apply for a job what happens?, apply for a loan what happens? go to your doctor for help what happens? our past defines us as people...good or bad.. and if someone has a problem with our past that we are close to or bonding with, we have an obligation to reveal our lifestyle and what got us where we are! keeping secrets from loved ones is a ticking time bomb! I am sure my wife never dreamed I would find out the things I know about her, but poop always rises to the top eventually (and some loose lipped in-laws, open e-mail accounts, old letters and a diary) tend to spell a chapter about one's past!
Come clean, get all the cards on the table in the first hand, dont trap people and play with their emotions, everyone seems to agree our past defines us as people and was a manual of living so, there should be nothing to hide then, you are who you are and dont judge other people that are the closest to you for not agreeing with it, everyone has the right to choice, if you dont think your lover, husband or wife can live with the knowledge! then maybe you should be with someone else? but dont make their mind up for them by thinking what is best for them!