Re: Retroactive jealousy--To those who are bothered by wives' past sextual experience
It upsets me so much. One poster was married for 20 years, had children and a wife who was exemplary. He began to have problems and practically tortured his good wife because of his problem. I think women react as if the man is being reasonable and allow themselves to abused.
It is better to consider that their husband is mentally ill and tell him to get help. Set boundaries if he refuses to get help consider divorce . Has to treated like any other abusive relationship.
I really don't understand how a man who claims to love his partner can torture her? The judgement heaped on women is astounding to me. Both from the OP and men who pipe in about "values". I'll bet these guys with "values" look at porn, make comments to women in the street, talk about sex with women with the buddies.
There are the same guys who watch porn, have sowed their wild oats, applaud the married guy who is poking the cute secretary, think about having sex with random women or are having an affair or would if they could get away with it. I wonder where their "values" are? Ahh but these are just things that men do so it's OK. Doesn't mean they don't love their wives, doesn't make them bad men.
It seems that the value guys think men are inherently good and entitled to sexual expression any way they want and what ever they do does not effect their basic goodness. Besides it's the testosterone, seed spreading instincts that naturally can not be controlled.
Women on the other hand are evil temptress who need to be controlled by the value guys so that they have access when ever they want.
I think it is a remnant of bygone days when women were expected to be virgins while men weeded around. This BS will fade away when the men who came of age in repressive times are no longer exerting any influence. Men coming of age today just like men adapted to women voting, having careers, using birth control and being in positions of power.
I'd advise women not to divulge details about their sex lives. I don't understand why women do that. If the man insist on knowing drop him too much trouble. That will avoid many of these problems. That and avoiding sexually insecure men.
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Last edited by Catherine602; 07-25-2011 at 11:00 PM.