For those following my earlier post about why the first 4 weeks was great and now I feel strange with someone I met recently, I found 2 great links on fear of intimacy:
Fear of Real Intimacy | Psychology Today
http://www.joy2meu.com/Fear_of_Intimacy.html
I think this is me to a T. I did this before my marriage with woman I got close too (only 2-3 woman), I even did it with my soon to be ex-wife when we first started dating. I am now doing it with a woman I met 4+ weeks ago and really like. I am finding reasons in my mind to push her away. I find physical flaws and harp on them, stupid things. I find things they say and harp on them in my mind and start telling myself this is not the right one because of XYZ; when XYZ was something I adored and liked 2 weeks prior. I get very anxious.
We talked on the phone last night for 30+ minutes and I loved talking to her. I wake up today though and have feelings of anxiety again.
I know this is me, I know I need to figure this out and no, this is not a rebound "feeling".....I do not feel that or believe that. I say this because I have felt these exact feelings with other woman I started to get close to in the past.
I am afraid to share personal things about myself with her for fear that she will judge me and leave. I am afraid I will start getting emotional or sappy in front of her talking about my marriage and what went wrong. So I keep quiet. I was nervous talking about my current divorce and ex and found myself only sharing small bits of information. She is the type who does not ask questions, which makes it easier for me. She says she knows I have stories and I will share them when I am ready.
Have others had this issue? What did you do that helped you?
Fear of Real Intimacy | Psychology Today
http://www.joy2meu.com/Fear_of_Intimacy.html
I think this is me to a T. I did this before my marriage with woman I got close too (only 2-3 woman), I even did it with my soon to be ex-wife when we first started dating. I am now doing it with a woman I met 4+ weeks ago and really like. I am finding reasons in my mind to push her away. I find physical flaws and harp on them, stupid things. I find things they say and harp on them in my mind and start telling myself this is not the right one because of XYZ; when XYZ was something I adored and liked 2 weeks prior. I get very anxious.
We talked on the phone last night for 30+ minutes and I loved talking to her. I wake up today though and have feelings of anxiety again.
I know this is me, I know I need to figure this out and no, this is not a rebound "feeling".....I do not feel that or believe that. I say this because I have felt these exact feelings with other woman I started to get close to in the past.
I am afraid to share personal things about myself with her for fear that she will judge me and leave. I am afraid I will start getting emotional or sappy in front of her talking about my marriage and what went wrong. So I keep quiet. I was nervous talking about my current divorce and ex and found myself only sharing small bits of information. She is the type who does not ask questions, which makes it easier for me. She says she knows I have stories and I will share them when I am ready.
Have others had this issue? What did you do that helped you?