TV shows and Cheating

ArabianKnight · 07-27-2011, 11:15 AM

I was wondering, sometimes watching tv shows such as s&and the city, and some other reality shows about dating and have multiple partners make feel that you miss the single life or give you rational thoughts about cheating?

greeneyeddolphin · 07-27-2011, 11:42 AM

TV shows have never really affected my life that strongly. I've always kind of been of the opinion that TV is nothing like real life (every now and then you get a show that is fairly realistic, but it's rare), and you can't use TV to figure out your own life. I mean, look at the "reality" shows - how many people do you know that get stuck on a deserted island with nothing but some rice and a piece of flint, or live in a house with 30 other people and share beds with total strangers? I know for me, at least, that total is 0.

SimplyAmorous · 07-27-2011, 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArabianKnight

I was wondering, sometimes watching tv shows such as s&and the city, and some other reality shows about dating and have multiple partners make feel that you miss the single life or give you rational thoughts about cheating?

I have never watched an episode of Sex & the City, but I can't get enough of the Bachelore & Bachlorette shows, I am a PATHETIC SUCKER for Romance, always have been. I love playing Match Maker too if I see an opportunity - and talking to people about their love lives. It is a sickness.

I think the thing you are referring too is this : Are you ENVIOUS of that love you see on the screen (even though so much of it is HYPED), makes you feel like you are missing something at home terribly or missed in youth ....

OR are you genuinely happy , and get giddy to see others fall in love?

If things are lacking in your marraige, you will be envious- this could lead to "wondering" if the grass might be greener with someone new. I remember one poster on this forum awhile back, she could not even bring herself to watch anything romantic, it would make her cry & cry knowing she will never experience that in her marraige, so she quit watching , it was too hard on her. It was very very sad post.

I can't say I haven't wanted to go back & be young again though! Youth is bliss.

I personallly LOVE the Bachelor & Bachlorette , love to watch the drama of relationships, even if they aren't mine! Always interesting to see if they can Make it work after the show. Statisitics are so against them though.

A special program coming up about Jake saying he wouldn't care if Veinna (his chosen) would fall 3,000 feet to her death!! (OH MY!). Bachelor Pad Promo: Jake Pavelka vs. Vienna Girardi, Round 12! - The Hollywood Gossip

Seeing all this just goes to show - these relationships are so FAR not what they may seem while we are watching. Many or our mundane existences are so much brighter in reality!

But still, I am glued to the TV, and literally ball like a baby every last epidosde where these men & women are expressing their undying love for each other. LOVE it!

GAR · 07-28-2011, 06:59 AM

Friend of mine buys into this thought; I do not at all.

magnoliagal · 07-28-2011, 09:42 AM

No because I'm intelligent enough to know it's totally fake. My sister however buys into it hook, line and sinker. Everytime she sees some romantic movie she starts flaw picking her boyfriend and thinks she could do better. I just look at her and say "you know it's a MOVIE right?" lol

4sure · 07-28-2011, 10:47 AM

I don't watch those shows. I spend little time watching tv, and when I do I want to watch something worth my time.

I do think that tv can influence younger ppl. So yeah they may think it's all glitz and glamour.

SimplyAmorous · 07-28-2011, 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by magnoliagal

No because I'm intelligent enough to know it's totally fake. My sister however buys into it hook, line and sinker. Everytime she sees some romantic movie she starts flaw picking her boyfriend and thinks she could do better. I just look at her and say "you know it's a MOVIE right?" lol

I don't think love like that is always fake though, I mean Yes, it is Hollywood we are talking about here, these are actors & actresses getting paid for these scenes.

Reality shows are more questionable, I think in those moments, they do "feel it" (a dopamine rush) -but they have not taken the time to "live it" , "TEST it ' , so it often falls by the wayside. Real love takes TIME - and generally some hardships along the way.

But these "rushing of emotions" scenes we are so drawn too (at least I am)- where we MELT when we hold our eyes to them, this does and can exist in every day relationships- like yours, mine & plain every day couples. Hopefully we all have at least a few to look back upon, these memories at least can help carry us through the harder times with our spouses, or should, it is something to recapture.

My husband is very romantically mushy with me , to the point of bringing me to tears at times , we have definitely had moments that can be comparable to some of more mushy gushy sap you see in these movies. Sometimes we start laughing afterwards about how it is just TOO MUCH, others would want to gag if they overheard us. Our one guy friend makes fun of us sometimes, sticking his fingers down his throat, making disgusting gagging noises, just to make fun of us. He just knows us VERY well.

It is that "spirit" that captures our hearts, we WANT to believe it exists and to find it somehow, make it our own. To have this in marraige is like finding a treasure every day, It breeds Thankfulness , even inspiration to continue on it's path.

Ok, I'm saying alot more than I need to here, but I think much of what Romance is made of is allowing yourself to be fully vulnerable with someone you love & many FEAR this, they hold something back , they have never let themselves go like this with another. Doesn't mean they don't have the feelings but fear expressing them outright-for whatever reason.

When you come to this place of opening up with someone you love, and they in return feel the same-also showing their greatest vulnerabilities- & we find we still LOVE each other terribly, with all our flaws, freely expressing what wells up in thier hearts ....

......or to take that chance of BEING SO vulnerable, that is what Romance is all about! It can be very moving.

Vulnerability and the Alpha Romantic | RatedGRomance.com

But obviously we also need to take what we see on TV with a grain of salt as this article well explains ...

Sex and love columnist Marty Klein talks about real romance

magnoliagal · 07-28-2011, 01:00 PM

SA but that's it. My sister's boyfriend is plenty romantic but for her it's never enough. I don't think any man will ever meet her expectations. She's simply too unrealistic. I also think she's incapable of a long term committed relationship. She bails at about the 5 year mark...every single time. She's twice divorced and just dumped her boyfriend of yep you guess it 5 years.

SimplyAmorous · 07-28-2011, 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by magnoliagal

SA but that's it. My sister's boyfriend is plenty romantic but for her it's never enough. I don't think any man will ever meet her expectations. She's simply too unrealistic. I also think she's incapable of a long term committed relationship. She bails at about the 5 year mark...every single time. She's twice divorced and just dumped her boyfriend of yep you guess it 5 years.

Well all of us can get carried away in "some" area, can't we. I am guilty too. I have sometimes gotten envious of these women who have these more "aggressive" husbands -wanting mine to be like that, and yes, I see that in Romance too ! We always watch that stuff together and I outright tell him, "DO that to me sometime baby".

But he is what he is, we have to be realistic, he may not come home & throw me over his shoulders & haul me upstairs and throw me on the bed (darn I wish), but I DO have the mushy sensual romance thing going on in my marraige. So I have to let the other go. I'll be the one to lure him upstairs & jump on him. Whatever works! Nice beta men are better at this romantic thing (I personally feel) but so many women are attracted to the more "distant" Bad boy types. To find one that has both of those going on , that would be heaven itself - I guess that is what the movies are for, huh!?

And some women are impossible to please, very high maintenance, we have to carefully evaluate ourselves, not enough people do that. Hopefully she will wake up, I mean twice divorced & relationships only lasting 5 yrs each, something is wrong with that picture!

SimplyAmorous · 07-28-2011, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pandakiss

a side not SA how could you have not seen sex in the city..??!!
all the clothes, all the shoes...samantha was the wild one, but aside from it being with different people, i have done much of it, so...did bother me much...but it was funny, and their relationship myths cracked me up...

Can you believe I have never watched an episode of Deperate Housewives either! We are always watching lifetime movies or Netflix movies at night (all those sappy romances) .

I don't know when they are on & just never caught a show! It is a little crazy! I am pretty sure if I started watching these programs I would likely become addicted to them.

magnoliagal · 07-28-2011, 01:47 PM

I haven't seen desperate housewives or sex in the city. Can't even remember the last time I saw a lifetime movie. I don't watch much tv unless it's the disney channel with kids or hgtv with my husband. Tv holds no appeal for me. My sister is the one that drags me out to see chick flicks in the theatre. Just not my thing I guess.