Entropy3000

I'm your huckleberry.

Sawney Beane

Enjoy the look on the face of someone when he works out he's ****ed the p1ss at an expert matrial artist

Her third dan black belt tends to give HER the last laugh.

And if necessary point out that if, once SHE has kicked his goolies into his earlobes, he's still a nuisance, I'll pull off one of his arms and beat him to death with the wet end...

ren

If I had the presence of mind as it happened I would lift up my shirt and yell back something crudely hilarious that would make them uncomfortable if they suffered at all from homophobia. Basically treat the situation like they were horny gay guys yelling at me.
If I didn't have the presence of mind in the moment I would playfully pretend my girlfriend was actually upset about me getting catcalls and then turn it around on her if she insisted they weren't. Sort of like "what? no way they were talking about me... well actually, damn yours might be better! We're gonna need to conduct an examination to be certain..."
I'd use the situation as a comedic excuse to make her feel sexy and feel her up. That's generally my M.O.

Halien

Often, its different if you are a guy who is into weightlifting. When some guys yell at your wife like this, it may be because they have assumptions about you, so they ARE looking to start a fight. Doesn't happen often, but it happens. My pillsbury doughboy t-shirt shirt saves me from the occasional fight - who's gonna fight with a guy with such an unmanly shirt, right?

I will probably never forget the handicapped guy who rear-ended my truck last month. His foot slipped off the brake, so he hit me, bounced back, and hit again ($3,500 in damage). I jumped out really fast because my daughter screamed in pain. The guy who hit us looked terrified, and I heard the door locks click. Later, he said that he was just convinced that he was going to die. His wife and daughter were in tears, and stared at me as if in shock when I asked if I could buy them a cold drink from the nearby store(it was really hot and we were waiting for a tow).

Unsure in Seattle

What can you do, nowadays? You can't really get into a fight with someone without reprecussions. If some jerk is trying to get a rise out of you, he's probably pitifully insecure and looking to compare penis size or whatever. It's probably not worth getting into it with someone... be the bigger person and ignore it. If they won't let you ignore it, be a jerk back- laugh at him or say something derogatory in turn and keep on walking.

The old lady and I were waiting for a bus one time... some (apparent) transient (my city seems to have a variety of very aggressive panhandlers, tranisents and other unfortunates down on their luck) came up and was angry that he "saw us standing for the bus all of the time, being quiet." We ignored him as best we could. Then he was "offended" that we were wearing dark clothes (!!) and that we looked like a... he groped for a name... and the best he could do was "an Ozzy Osbourne cover." We laughed and said "Good" which confounded him, and made him madder... he yelled some more at us; told my girlfriend she was "ugly as sin," to which she replied "piss off," and I replied "coming from the man that hasn't got a home or a woman to go to," which really enraged him... he started ranting about Hurricane Katrina and some other junk... got up in my face (I'm a pretty big guy- 6'1 and close to 300 lbs)... I told him he was utterly pathetic to go around screaming at random people and to get the hell out of our faces before I did something about it. Luckily, the bus pulled up, and we calmly got on the bus as he had an utter meltdown. He wasn't prepared for anyone to stand up for themselves. If he wasn't so overtly hostile and clearly going out of his way to needle people, I would have felt very bad for him. Sometimes, ignoring this king of thing (my preferred choice) doesn't work- this guy was angry and had set his sights on killing time this way... but, in this case, returning his belligerence took the wind out of his sails. He was expecting whomever he came up to to just take it. I guess it's largely about reading the situation- the bottom line is that you can't go around with your chest puffed out looking for a fight, but you certainly don't have to take abuse if you don't want to.

Come to think of it, nearly every jerky encounter I've had has been waiting for the bus or getting on the bus. Something about the downtown Seattle bus system that really brings out aggression in some people.

TwoDogs

I definitely would NOT want my SO to yell back or do anything that might provoke further animosity.

LexusNexus

You cannot fight with every idiot.