Re: My boyfriend is scared of marriage, what can I do to help?
hi, sorry your going through this...first, before I forget, I just wanted to say, do not diminish the length of time youve been with him- you said you know a year is not that long-- its not a lifetime, but honestly, a year is a significant amount of time-- dont diminish the value of that...I dont say this to discourage you, but rather to help encourage you to not doubt what you may already know inside-- a year IS a long time- its not a lifetime, but that doesnt take away from what it is. Plenty of people get engaged and/or married in less time than that. I guess I felt the need to emphasize that because I sensed that maybe you are doubting or second guessing what your gut is telling you
someone above pointed out something pretty smart that I agree with totally- in reference to saveamarriage's post above, there are alot of risks in life. Your boyfriend says he is afraid of marriage. If he viewed all of life that way, he would never step foot in a car, for fear of an accident. He would never work, for fear of being fired, he wouldnt venture to go to school bc he might fail classes, etc etc. I think there are probably a few people out there that for some reason do have a real fear of marriage, but I think that most men who claim that fear are not really afraid so much as they are wanting to keep their life as is-- they dont want responsibility, they want to in some ways still do their own thing. I dont buy the line about being afraid-- how is it that your boyfriend is not afraid to do everything else in life? .if it genuinely IS a real fear, then they can work through that in counseling- not just keep drifting along, waving the "im afraid" flag in order to not have to take responsibility