General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
Re: College girlfriend has social anxiety, and I might dump her because of it...
First she isn't an object to show off. If that is what you want from a girlfriend ten you must make a lousy boyfriend.
Second, maybe you can help her by getting her in a debate class, inspirational speaking, current events
Growing is a part of relationships.
Maybe her issue is more than just social, many people have high functioning autisms that while they are super intelligent they have social interaction issues. Chances are she doesn't have autism per se but maybe something else like it, we are not all wired the same way.
Maybe something in her childhood caused her to be withdrawn, moving around, specially army brats have this. Maybe you are just to controling of her for her to feel comfortable having he own friends or having a girls night out to let down her hair so to speak.
Re: College girlfriend has social anxiety, and I might dump her because of it...
Lifeisquick-
By pushing her gently to engage in more conversation, you will not only be helping yourself, but you will be helping her. You don't need therapist for that - if she find it hard even to talk with you, then you are the ideal person to start with.
You could make it into a game. 1/4 of an hour 3 times a week for instance. Give her a list of topics that while not to challenging, she will at least find interesting. Then she must pick one topic from the list, and start a conversation with you.
If you tell her this was the one and only reason why you were worried about the relationship, she would probably be inclined to try it.
If you are thinking of leaving her anyway, I would not take no for an answer... But I am not a very nice guy
Just remember, she sounds like a beautiful being with the most sensitive heart you will ever meet. Some people have hearts so sensitive they feel every little thing, and shyness is their defence mechanism. It might be that life was waiting for you to come along and boost her confidence. If you duck out now, you may have missed an opportunity to make the world a better place.
Re: College girlfriend has social anxiety, and I might dump her because of it...
it sounds like you just dont have the chemistry . if you sincerely love her, you wil stay and take steps together to help her. but its not all about her either. you are the other part in the relationship.
your needs have to be full filled also.
sometimes its not funny being in a sad relationship, but i dont think you can stay because she cries.
if you do move on, i think the best way is go quickly . dont linger or keep contact.
thats why its called moving on.
my previous boyfriends and when we split up, the candle had burnt out. her personality is like that for the rest of her life.
i didnt go out with blokes that smoked, why? because they smoked.
so what im saying is, you dont have to stay with someone because they suffer with severe anxiety . you dont have to feel sorry for your actions all the time.
Re: College girlfriend has social anxiety, and I might dump her because of it...
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkTwain
Just remember, she sounds like a beautiful being with the most sensitive heart you will ever meet. Some people have hearts so sensitive they feel every little thing, and shyness is their defence mechanism. It might be that life was waiting for you to come along and boost her confidence. If you duck out now, you may have missed an opportunity to make the world a better place.
and you might miss out on the sweetest, most beautiful being ever. all for the sake of "socializing," which you can find an outlet for, i would assume, pretty easily.
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separated, honoring wife and family daily, she deserves the best me i can give her.
Re: College girlfriend has social anxiety, and I might dump her because of it...
An introvert might want to have friends, but lack the social skills and graces to do so. Next time you are out with her and friends try to include her in more conversations. My wife when I met her was a wall flower. She is one of the best liked and most outgoing person you'd ever meet now, even more so than me.
College girlfriend has social anxiety, and I might dump her because of it...
and you might miss out on the sweetest, most beautiful being ever. all for the sake of "socializing," which you can find an outlet for, i would assume, pretty easily.
