General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
I heard something a long time ago, aimed at single women.
If a man does not return your phone call, it's not because he lost your number, went somewhere for a few days, or has a broken answering machine. It's because he doesn't want to.
Ok if he doesnt return your phonecalls, then find another boyfriend.
Anyways, find a way for him to be afraid to lose you. If hes not afraid of losing you, he doesnt care. Plus even the fact you are asking this question on this forum, PROBABLY means hes not interested anymore sorry.
You know how much time I wasted with people like this? If I only could go back cut lose the losers and meet cool people!
not sure if he is Deprioritizing me, but I feel that when I am over there and he's bored of just watching tv or hanging in the backyard (I have always tried to get him to just go on walks or take the dog to the park but he rather be lazy) he goes plays on his computer, leaving me alone. He has said in the past and still does when I wanted to hang out ,, "we have nothing to do or go, so I don't see the point" (could be his depression talking)
he has stated he's not looking for someone else online or in person a couple of times,
is this true? When someone volunteers info like that,, usually means they are but they say that to throw you off the scent? I don't know, I just know when my ex told me he was not with girls and was telling other girls he's taken that he wasn't.
I feel there's been lack of affection and attention from him
I don't think he is afraid of loosing me,, that's why I am not too worried when/if I break up with him that he will be heart broken. I think he just realizes that given his past and his living situation that no other girl in right mind would want to be in a relationship with him so he keeps what he has,, maybe I am wrong on that, I thought he was keeping me around for the sex but we have gone 7 days of no sex and believe me I am showing him interest, but he don't make a move back. so I given up on showing him any sexual interest, and it's weird cause I know he loves sex, I am thinking he is using sex as a control factor (he has control problems)
yea I am pretty sure I know he's not interested but I wanted to get other peoples point of view, a good friend of mine who's a male, I've told him bits and pieces of things my bf has said or done, and he's the one who told me that he's not interested,
my main prob is I've been with guys were were interested, but were such losers, that I deserved better but I always stayed till it got at it's worse,,
as for the lat reply,, I feel I might call him more,, but I usually call him in the morning to wish him a good morning (I've stopped this) the last time he called me first was the last day we had sex, so I am thinking that call might had been just cause he was horny,, that is also the last time he said I love you, to be fair I haven't been saying it to him either, not feeling it that much for him,, (more likely all the more reason to end it)
when he's in a good mood, he is capable of making me laugh, that is one of the reasons I went for him, but it seems so much less now, and affection,,, I am not seeing it or feeling it like I use to, so not sure,,
thanks for all your replies,, still taking more advice if anyone wants to give it, but unless some miracle happens soon, where I am feeling more loved, and more like a gf, I don't see this lasting much longer,,
So if I understand correctly, your relationship consists of going over to his place and watching tv, hanging out, or watching him play video games? What exactly are you worried about giving up?
ok,,,
not sure if he is Deprioritizing me, but I feel that when I am over there and he's bored of just watching tv or hanging in the backyard (I have always tried to get him to just go on walks or take the dog to the park but he rather be lazy) he goes plays on his computer, leaving me alone. He has said in the past and still does when I wanted to hang out ,, "we have nothing to do or go, so I don't see the point" (could be his depression talking)
Ok, this makes me think you are looking for him to entertain you with his down time. What do you do when he's not around?
Quote:
he has stated he's not looking for someone else online or in person a couple of times,
is this true? When someone volunteers info like that,, usually means they are but they say that to throw you off the scent? I don't know, I just know when my ex told me he was not with girls and was telling other girls he's taken that he wasn't.
Is there any reason you have this lack of trust?
Quote:
I feel there's been lack of affection and attention from him
I don't think he is afraid of loosing me,, that's why I am not too worried when/if I break up with him that he will be heart broken. I think he just realizes that given his past and his living situation that no other girl in right mind would want to be in a relationship with him so he keeps what he has,, maybe I am wrong on that, I thought he was keeping me around for the sex but we have gone 7 days of no sex and believe me I am showing him interest, but he don't make a move back. so I given up on showing him any sexual interest, and it's weird cause I know he loves sex, I am thinking he is using sex as a control factor (he has control problems)
So, he was just using you for sex, and now you're upset that he's not even doing that?
Quote:
yea I am pretty sure I know he's not interested but I wanted to get other peoples point of view, a good friend of mine who's a male, I've told him bits and pieces of things my bf has said or done, and he's the one who told me that he's not interested,
my main prob is I've been with guys were were interested, but were such losers, that I deserved better but I always stayed till it got at it's worse,,
Wow. Stop the train wreck. Stop dating guys who are losers, get some esteem, and make guys woo you for the nookie.
You need to do things for yourself. Do you live with your parents? How old are you, btw?
Quote:
as for the lat reply,, I feel I might call him more,, but I usually call him in the morning to wish him a good morning (I've stopped this) the last time he called me first was the last day we had sex, so I am thinking that call might had been just cause he was horny,, that is also the last time he said I love you, to be fair I haven't been saying it to him either, not feeling it that much for him,, (more likely all the more reason to end it)
when he's in a good mood, he is capable of making me laugh, that is one of the reasons I went for him, but it seems so much less now, and affection,,, I am not seeing it or feeling it like I use to, so not sure,,
thanks for all your replies,, still taking more advice if anyone wants to give it, but unless some miracle happens soon, where I am feeling more loved, and more like a gf, I don't see this lasting much longer,
tldr: It's over. Move on. Make sure the next guy you date has a job, is not on any psych meds, and at least buys you dinner and a movie once a week.
So if I understand correctly, your relationship consists of going over to his place and watching tv, hanging out, or watching him play video games? What exactly are you worried about giving up?
truth be told I actually found everyone's advice very helpful, and it's sad to think I've actually known for some time that he was not interested but hoping he would change his mind and yes I have co dependency problems, has kept me in the relationship longer then I should had been. Hence why I stayed with losers, in the past,
no I don't' expect him to entertain me, but I don't expect to go see my guy and then he leaves me on the couch, and makes no contact with me, and shows no interest in me being there, if you want me to go, just say so,, also I do alot of things without him, I work, clean, walk, hang out with friends, watch movies, and so on, so I deff don't need hm for the entertainment part,,
I kind of rather not go into detail but yes he has done something to cause me to mistrust him, lets just put it short, he changed his profile information to he was interested in dating, and that he was in a complicated relationship but we weren't, we actually were doing really well and happy together, so he went behind my back to find another GF, Yes I know that should had been warning lights right there
as for the upset that he was using me for sex and now I am upset he's not,, No you got that all messed up,, or maybe I just didn't explain it right,, I was not upset that I felt he was using me for sex, at least I had some kind of affection, attention, and at that time he wanted to hang out with me, so I felt like a gf but lately it seems that I feel to be a burden, even though he don't do anything,, but now it's lack of attention, lack of affection, no sexual interest,, and he still wants to keep the "Relationship" status, when we should just call it like it is,, "Friends" who knows maybe he has co dependency as well,, but I know I am getting sick of feeling this way.. I want someone who makes me happy and loves to be around me, and so much more. so No not upset so much about the lack of sex as I am about the lack of affection and attention that goes with being in a relationship,
yes I know I need to stop going after losers, and believe me I could die happy if I found a guy with a job who actually treated me lovely,, but co dependency is a hard thing to fight, but it's something I need to fight, and get on track, yes I do have low self esteem, yes I deserve better, and hopefully one day I will find better,,
I am tired of him dragging me along, he acts not interested then the next day he can be all loveable. We were fighting and then a few days later he said he can see us lasting a long time, and then a few days later he's distant (I know he is bi polar, so this might be part of the deal) but sorry to say,, it's driving me nuts with his constant love you one day, don't love you the next,,
so once again to everyone thanks for your input, and advice, but I now know what I need to do,, besides dump him, I am gonna get my life in order, already looking for work, I am taking better care of myself, and going out to events and enjoying life, knowing I can be perfectly content in being single,
This is a post mainly to the few people who responded to this post when I posted it,,
Apparently I was right, he has been uninterested in me for some time, and wasn't meaning to drag me on but wanted to see if he felt anything for me,, he didn't,,
the thing that kind of pisses me off, is a few weeks ago we had had an argument to where he had stated that he didn't see himself loving me in the future and hoped he would find someone better then me,, yet we stayed together,, then a week later I confronted him and told him "why stay with a guy who says he will never love me?" he gave me some lame excuse how he didn't really mean it and it had came out all wrong (I thought it might all be BS) and so we stayed together thinking it was all a misunderstanding, but when we broke up he confessed he had been feeling that way. He said he just didnt' want to hurt me,, but I was already hurt, and by him denying what he said, he just prolonged the hurt and then hurt me again,, STUPID STUPID.. not just talking about him, me too,, I am smarter then that,, should had known,
but he says "cause you didn't want to hurt me? that's why you didn't want to break up with me?" Man he had so many opts to get out and end it, but when I asked him if he wanted to stay together he said yes,,
well I've learned alot from this relationship and what to look out for,,and learned stuff about me too. I just hope he learned somethings too,,
we are still friends though,, so we'll see how that goes,,
I am done with relationships for now,, it's time to do what I should had done a long time ago and focus on me and my life,,
I actually did know the signs, thank you but I was in denial, so I was seeking some extra help to kick my butt to stop being in denial, but anyway
"Who would be interested in me?" excuse me but maybe he should had stopped playing mind games on me and just come out and say it, tired of mind games, we're adults people not kids.
but anyway if you didn't read the above post I already ended it,
PS co dependency is a B*#@h,,, but life is so much happier without that drama,
Is he still interested in me? 
