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post #16 of 800 (permalink) Old 10-08-2015, 04:24 AM
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Re: Wife is behaving weird. Need some input

5 years and you've never had her followed? Hire a PI. See what's up.

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post #17 of 800 (permalink) Old 10-08-2015, 08:29 AM
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Re: Wife is behaving weird. Need some input

do you know where they "lunch" once or twice a month?

show up one day! or at least check to see if her car is there like she says

so it's a couple now? does your wife ever talk directly to the husband? or maybe that's what's really going on....she's 'lunching' with the husband and neither of the spouses are told the truth
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post #18 of 800 (permalink) Old 10-08-2015, 08:58 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Wife is behaving weird. Need some input

Actually I do have friends that are outside of my marriage,and I do "hang out",My wife knows all of my friends,I think,which is why I'm so bothered by her current activities. I have wondered just what was going on,I am not prepared to do the divorce route,it just goes against the way I was raised. She told me the other day,I'll have sex with you because it is an "OBLIGATION" because we're married,but you have to initiate. I do not think that normal.
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post #19 of 800 (permalink) Old 10-08-2015, 09:14 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Wife is behaving weird. Need some input

As far as I can tell,it is just the wife,she says she has never met the husband.I'm not even sure he knows what is going on.
I do know where they have lunch,the last time I was there I did not actually see her get out of the car,
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post #20 of 800 (permalink) Old 10-08-2015, 09:30 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Wife is behaving weird. Need some input

I have actually followed her,and I do know where this woman lives. She lives about 10 minutes from where they supposedly have "lunch".I have started to plan an "OP" for this weekend,for the next time they have lunch,I really cannot afford a P.I.
She is going to be " Out of town" with her sister.Do
women normally have 2 to 3 hour lunches?
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post #21 of 800 (permalink) Old 10-08-2015, 09:37 AM
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Re: Wife is behaving weird. Need some input

How long have you and your wife been married?
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post #22 of 800 (permalink) Old 10-08-2015, 09:39 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Wife is behaving weird. Need some input

Quote:
Originally Posted by perol View Post
Usually it's not that hard to distinguish, although I've done a few double takes in my time.
Having never met this person or seen a picture,I'm assuming that it is a woman,,I do know how to spell assume,but at this his point,it is all I've got.
D
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post #23 of 800 (permalink) Old 10-08-2015, 09:47 AM
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Re: Wife is behaving weird. Need some input

If you do not want to go with the creepy snooping route I woudn't blame you. Sounds like you're also scared of a direct conflict as in demanding to know what's up (which is what I would do)..

So try this. Give her the same medicine. You now have a mysterious guy friend that she is not allowed to meet. You talk in private and spend hours "hanging out together" where she is not welcome. Be sure to come home smelling like perfume and accidentally leave some clues around that appear to be consistent with a females attention towards you.

If this is something you could pull off, you would know everything you need to know by her reaction..This would push most loving wives to the brink. If she acts relieved or indifferent, you know that she already has one foot out the door.

But be aware, in the off chance her relationship is on the up and up, you could have some "splain'n" to do, Ricky.
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post #24 of 800 (permalink) Old 10-08-2015, 09:57 AM
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Re: Wife is behaving weird. Need some input

Here's what i'd do. I'd find out if she really is at the restaurant, and if she stays for the entire time. Does she leave with someone else and then come back for her car?

Put a VAR in her car. Get a good SONY brand unit, they run about $65 at WalMart. Put top quality batteries in it. Use strong wide velcro to attach it securely in her car. Under her seat is fine, or under the dash. Play with the unit for a bit before you install it so that you know absolutely positively how to operate it. Make sure it is set to silent mode so it doesn't somehow make noises. You can snip the plug off of old cheap earbuds and plug it into the earphone jack. This should ensure the speaker is bypassed.

Place the VAR so that she can't see it easily, and make sure it is secure so it won't fall out. The VAR will capture phone conversations she has. People think it is totally private in their car, and will talk unguardedly. Many cheaters have been caught this way. We had one member here who used a VAR to discover his wife was not cheating but had some serious issues in the marriage. The guy used the info to change some things he was doing and he rescued his marriage. Whatever data you get will be good to have. Nothing from the VAR is ever revealed to anyone, not even your wife. The VAR is for your info only.

I would also place a GPS unit in her car. This is a more expensive route to go, and could wait until you've gathered the VAR information for a few weeks. Alternative options are to hide your cell phone in the car (set to silent mode plus earbuds plugged in) and turn on "find my phone" or whatever similar function your phone and carrier offer. Be sure to activate GPS on your phone. Your phone battery should be good for the few hours she is at lunch. Stash it where she won't find it. Watch where the car is in real time from your computer at home.

Another alternative is to follow her a few minutes behind to the restaurant. Park where you're not obvious. This won't work if you have a unique car. Be your own PI to see if she is at the restaurant, and when she leaves. When she does leave, drive home a different way than her so she doesn't see you.

Review all the phone and credit card statements. You're looking for anything odd. Massive numbers of texts, calls at odd hours, all to the same number. Look at the credit card statements to see if she's really buying lunch on those days (the date the charge goes through could be 1 to 3 days later). Are there any odd things which could be gifts, or hotels?

Her changing in the bathroom seems quite odd to me, given that she didn't ever do that before. Do you still have sex with her? Has her personal grooming changed? If so does it coincide with her changing in the bathroom and this new friend?
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post #25 of 800 (permalink) Old 10-08-2015, 11:25 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Wife is behaving weird. Need some input

We still have sex,once maybe twice a month,but to her it is an "OBLIGATION" because we're married(her words).As far as her dressing/undressing in the bathroom,I feel like she is "hiding"her body from me for some reason,I was wondering if she feels like she's cheating when we do have sex or I see her naked. She did start doing something different with her hair,enhancing the gray,special shampoo.This all started in 2010, just after she reconnected with this woman,I do not believe for a heartbeat that all of this is a coincidence. She brought home "Leftovers" a while back from lunch.but it looked like"TAKE OUT" to me.and it was still warm.
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post #26 of 800 (permalink) Old 10-08-2015, 11:31 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Wife is behaving weird. Need some input

We have been together for 45 years,married for 42.
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post #27 of 800 (permalink) Old 10-08-2015, 12:08 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Wife is behaving weird. Need some input

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thor View Post
Here's what i'd do. I'd find out if she really is at the restaurant, and if she stays for the entire time. Does she leave with someone else and then come back for her car?

Put a VAR in her car. Get a good SONY brand unit, they run about $65 at WalMart. Put top quality batteries in it. Use strong wide velcro to attach it securely in her car. Under her seat is fine, or under the dash. Play with the unit for a bit before you install it so that you know absolutely positively how to operate it. Make sure it is set to silent mode so it doesn't somehow make noises. You can snip the plug off of old cheap earbuds and plug it into the earphone jack. This should ensure the speaker is bypassed.

Place the VAR so that she can't see it easily, and make sure it is secure so it won't fall out. The VAR will capture phone conversations she has. People think it is totally private in their car, and will talk unguardedly. Many cheaters have been caught this way. We had one member here who used a VAR to discover his wife was not cheating but had some serious issues in the marriage. The guy used the info to change some things he was doing and he rescued his marriage. Whatever data you get will be good to have. Nothing from the VAR is ever revealed to anyone, not even your wife. The VAR is for your info only.

I would also place a GPS unit in her car. This is a more expensive route to go, and could wait until you've gathered the VAR information for a few weeks. Alternative options are to hide your cell phone in the car (set to silent mode plus earbuds plugged in) and turn on "find my phone" or whatever similar function your phone and carrier offer. Be sure to activate GPS on your phone. Your phone battery should be good for the few hours she is at lunch. Stash it where she won't find it. Watch where the car is in real time from your computer at home.

Another alternative is to follow her a few minutes behind to the restaurant. Park where you're not obvious. This won't work if you have a unique car. Be your own PI to see if she is at the restaurant, and when she leaves. When she does leave, drive home a different way than her so she doesn't see you.

Review all the phone and credit card statements. You're looking for anything odd. Massive numbers of texts, calls at odd hours, all to the same number. Look at the credit card statements to see if she's really buying lunch on those days (the date the charge goes through could be 1 to 3 days later). Are there any odd things which could be gifts, or hotels?

Her changing in the bathroom seems quite odd to me, given that she didn't ever do that before. Do you still have sex with her? Has her personal grooming changed? If so does it coincide with her changing in the bathroom and this new friend?
Thor,
That is all good stuff,the last time I followed her,I did not see her get out of the car,she must have gotten out on the passenger side,I think that is alittle odd. Now that I think back,she never set the alarm on her car.I think the Next time I will be inside,the restaurant, in disguise,what I need to do is borrow a car to follow her in,but I don't want to involve my friends in this CF,it has got to compartmentalized
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post #28 of 800 (permalink) Old 10-08-2015, 12:42 PM
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Re: Wife is behaving weird. Need some input

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deguello View Post
Thor,
That is all good stuff,the last time I followed her,I did not see her get out of the car,she must have gotten out on the passenger side,I think that is alittle odd. Now that I think back,she never set the alarm on her car.I think the Next time I will be inside,the restaurant, in disguise,what I need to do is borrow a car to follow her in,but I don't want to involve my friends in this CF,it has got to compartmentalized
Deguello
maybe a rent-a-car --paid by cash
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post #29 of 800 (permalink) Old 10-08-2015, 01:38 PM
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Re: Wife is behaving weird. Need some input

The next time she go's to one of these little lunches, Tell her you are going out, and leave before she doe's...You could take a cab to their meeting place, and have time to find a secluded table, and be ready...
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post #30 of 800 (permalink) Old 10-08-2015, 03:09 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Wife is behaving weird. Need some input

Quote:
Originally Posted by Woodchuck View Post
The next time she go's to one of these little lunches, Tell her you are going out, and leave before she doe's...You could take a cab to their meeting place, and have time to find a secluded table, and be ready...
The best thing for me,is to treat this like a"mission",the first RECON is this weekend
Restaurant,this woman's house,My wife will be out of town with her sister,I need to find out how much her family actually knows,I can't believe everyone is "in the dark" on this.
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