Hello all,
I'm new to this site as a member but have lurked around for several months now and I have to say some advice on here has helped me cope with my relationship. But I need an insight, here is a slight rundown of my relationship with my H.
We have been married for 5 yrs. I personally think we got married too young I was 21 and he was 20 it was either that or break up, yeah not a good start. Anyway, fast forward to now.
When I found out I was pregnant I asked him to quit smoking for the health of our baby, he agreed. Now 3 yrs later I find out that he had lied to me and has been smoking this entire time not near us but while at work and if I would show up unexpectedly he would hand off his cigs to someone else. When I found out I confronted him about it and he lied and denied it till he finally gave in and said yes I do still smoke I never quit. Now what really bothers me about all this is that he so easily lied to me this whole time and it was like nothing to him. In our argument he said it was my fault and that I didn't even like it when he smoked cigars and I responded with well you would ask me and I HONESTLY answered but don't get on your high horse with me since you have been smoking this whole time!
Anyway this just opened up this big emotional battle with myself I can't get over the fact that he lied. He knows I detest it but did it anyway. He has done other things like on his twitter he started following someone that would tweet half naked if not full on naked photos of girls and he saw absolutely no problem with it, now it's not like I freak out over porn that doesn't bother me at all but he was getting 30+ pics a day! and he admitted to looking at them while driving(Um hello dangerous!) I told him it bothered me and that I felt disrespected but he didn't stop following the person so I did it for him because I was mad. Another recent thing is that he is part of a forum and someone asked "have you ever banged your boss?" now I only found out his answer because I grabbed his phone to look something up and his browser was on that page he posted that he did(In a more detailed manner) and I got upset I probably shouldn't have but I did. His answer? get over it. I read the answers other men wrote and it was mostly yes my wife is the boss or something to that nature he was the only one that wrote in a bragging like manner(this was a past hook up by the way).
I don't know what to think whenever we get into an argument he always just pushes things under the rug or pretends nothing ever happened or even gets offended if I'm upset and tries to spin it so that it's somehow my fault. I sometimes just go with it his job doesn't really allow for much time spent together but sometimes I think he takes advantage of that fact and says what if something happened to me on the road how would you feel knowing you were mad at me. I'm just tired of it and I do sometimes believe its my fault. So opinions, advice, anything?
I'm new to this site as a member but have lurked around for several months now and I have to say some advice on here has helped me cope with my relationship. But I need an insight, here is a slight rundown of my relationship with my H.
We have been married for 5 yrs. I personally think we got married too young I was 21 and he was 20 it was either that or break up, yeah not a good start. Anyway, fast forward to now.
When I found out I was pregnant I asked him to quit smoking for the health of our baby, he agreed. Now 3 yrs later I find out that he had lied to me and has been smoking this entire time not near us but while at work and if I would show up unexpectedly he would hand off his cigs to someone else. When I found out I confronted him about it and he lied and denied it till he finally gave in and said yes I do still smoke I never quit. Now what really bothers me about all this is that he so easily lied to me this whole time and it was like nothing to him. In our argument he said it was my fault and that I didn't even like it when he smoked cigars and I responded with well you would ask me and I HONESTLY answered but don't get on your high horse with me since you have been smoking this whole time!
Anyway this just opened up this big emotional battle with myself I can't get over the fact that he lied. He knows I detest it but did it anyway. He has done other things like on his twitter he started following someone that would tweet half naked if not full on naked photos of girls and he saw absolutely no problem with it, now it's not like I freak out over porn that doesn't bother me at all but he was getting 30+ pics a day! and he admitted to looking at them while driving(Um hello dangerous!) I told him it bothered me and that I felt disrespected but he didn't stop following the person so I did it for him because I was mad. Another recent thing is that he is part of a forum and someone asked "have you ever banged your boss?" now I only found out his answer because I grabbed his phone to look something up and his browser was on that page he posted that he did(In a more detailed manner) and I got upset I probably shouldn't have but I did. His answer? get over it. I read the answers other men wrote and it was mostly yes my wife is the boss or something to that nature he was the only one that wrote in a bragging like manner(this was a past hook up by the way).
I don't know what to think whenever we get into an argument he always just pushes things under the rug or pretends nothing ever happened or even gets offended if I'm upset and tries to spin it so that it's somehow my fault. I sometimes just go with it his job doesn't really allow for much time spent together but sometimes I think he takes advantage of that fact and says what if something happened to me on the road how would you feel knowing you were mad at me. I'm just tired of it and I do sometimes believe its my fault. So opinions, advice, anything?