I just joined this site yesterday, morning...
I have been sitting here trying to help out others and then today I am the one who is coming here... I have been married to my husband for over 17 years and there are a lot of things I really do not even understand him... He was for one raised from his Mother, and she raised all her seven children not love, not to show pain to anyone but to her; well, with him he really is not even able to do these things or to even feel the pain when something really bad goes wrong...
With his other sister's and one brother
They grew to love and to show that they are hurting... Well, that is not the only thing though- he has away of getting me upset and then when he knows it works he then becomes such an ass to me- he makes me then where I am crying and really feeling really bad... Just like today; see, him and me had to end up getting a divorce for a very short time due to the State, keeps pushing me around and will not help me when they say I am able to get my SSI- anyhow it went to where we had to throw away 17 years of our marriage to get the help that I need... Which took place 8 months ago (We still live together) anyway it has been so much hell on me, I love him so damn much; I mean I love him more than life it self and beyond all the stars in the sky- I am not even able to write you, for to know how strong my love is for this man, I am even more in love with him then that...
As I was saying though
We have done EVERYTHING that the state has told us to do- they just keep on saying that I have to do this and that I have to do that. They have even said themslves "You, have been disable since a child" which is true and now with this disease I was born with it is just getting way worse than it was... Well, anyhow this has been so hard on me not having him as my loving Husband like he was- even though I know we are going to be remarried again on our wedding day which is May 5th- I am just so hurt that it went to us having to thrown 17 years of our marriage out the window and I still am not even getting the help from the State- like they keep saying I will get...LEFT]
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I still call him my husband because in my eyes he is.
We are still together- all the way. I just hate though how he makes me where I get so upset and then he- treats me so badly when he does the job of hurting me. Then when I do get all upset into tears; and I mean tears that just keep on rolling. We then start yelling at each other. Why, would he keep wanting to start fights with me though?
You, all may end up saying- where he can find
Away out of the house because he is cheating on you. Well, NO HE IS NOT- he has not ever cheated, I am his one and only one he has ever been with. I am also his first girfriend he has ever had, the first one he has ever loved. I am the first on everything with him, everyone wants to make it where he looks so bad when for one. There really is not any male like him. He is very rare on how he is... Just like when the first time we made love- we did not rush right into it- yes, there was touching, and kissing, him even touching down on me. But the love making did not take place for six months. We did get engaged with each other right away though. Him and me started dating on Dec 7th 1995 and we were engaged a week before Christmas... He did not ask me in the words of "Would you marry me" I am able to tell what someone is thinking.
He beat around the brush and I asked
Are you trying to ask me to marry you? and then he said "Lets not tell you mom until I come back here tomorrow from work... Which yes, he is way older than I am and I was 15 years old at the time.... Anyhow enough of all of that- I want someone to help me though with what they may think and not someone who would just say that he is cheating on you... I need to know a few more things as well though
1. Like I asked- why does he always find ways to upset me and put me into tears?
2. Is there anyway of me really having him break from the way he was raised not showing his love, and feelings....
3. This one I will not say until I see how these are answered