I'm new here. I am a 30 year old woman, lived with my husband for almost 13 years. Been married for 7 years. We have a WONDERFUL little boy named Conner. He is the light of my life. My marriage is in trouble and it used to really bring me down, but since my son came along I have no reason to feel down. I still have my moments where it is harder to pull myself out a slump - but overall I try to be positive and thankful for what I do have.
I am the sole provider for my family. Not just financially, but in every way. I get very little help from hubby, he does watch our son while I am at work which is wonderful - but that is all that he does. I am to blame for a lot of this mess. I have allowed him to be this way. I was 17 years old when we met and I just had no idea about life or relationships. I came from a family where mom and dad have been married for 35 years. None of my dad's 11 brothers and sisters (Catholic Family) have been divorced. I grew up in a small town and I just didn't have any idea what "real life" was all about.
I still don't have much of a clue about life - but I am learning as I go. I know that being a mommy is the most rewarding job I could ever have. And, if my relationship were better with hubby I would have loved to have had more kids. But, I am blessed to have my little man, Conner and I appreciate him so much.
I am here for advice mainly. I think I can learn from other's posts and hopefully I can repair my lousy relationship. We'll see.....
Hi, have you tried talking to your hubby about how you feel? The message does not say you have. May be that is the starting point, to sit and talk to him. Ask him what he wants? Does he want this marriage to work? How you feel at the moment?
May be you need some fire in your marriage. Do you go on holidays often? May be you should, just the 2 of you. I am sure coming from a big close knit family your son can be looked after for a week or so, until the 2 of you go away from all the hustle & bustle. If he does not take the initiative in arranging something, may be you should & see how it goes. I have heard alot of couple with similar problems, specially from the man's side. They do come around eventually, but it is hard work. Then again there are people who does not want to change, then you need to think "is it worth living with someone who does not bother to work towards keeping the marriage" "Is this a good example for my son". From the background you come from, I can imagine separation been the last thing. It is easy to separate, but difficult to make things work. But when you do make things work, the reward can be so great. Like the song "Fight for you Love" you should not give up till you fight to make this work.
I myself have issues & problems which I am still looking for answers in my marriage, hence I am no expert. But this is what I feel about your situation.
I wish you all the best, and hope you will find the happiness you desire soon.