Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: My side of the street
Re: How do I deal with this?
It sounds more like paranoia than mere insecurities to me. It's also a form of abuse. My ex accused me of tossing his wedding band in our kitchen trashcan after he couldn't find it. He had an entire story cooked up as to how I did it. Nothing I said could change his belief. I, too, got called every name in the book and basically told what a piece of crap I was.
Six months later, we were getting ready to go to dinner, and he put his hands in a pair of Docker's he hadn't worn in months. Wanna guess what was in the pocket? Yep, his wedding band. And even with the cold, hard evidence, he still wouldn't man up and admit he was an a$$hat.
I hope you can get your husband into therapy, but just be forewarned that he may be quite adept at blowing smoke up your counselor's wazoo.
I don't think you can get through to your husband. How long have you been married, and has he always been this way? Does he abuse alcohol or drugs at any time; say, to ease stress or just to take the edge off?
You are living with an angry man who is projecting his own self-hatred onto you. Has he ever threatened to, or actually gotten, physical with you? I think you need to take a good hard look at your marriage, because it doesn't sound like it's doing you any good to get in no-win arguments. If your husband has no reason to doubt your loyalty, then maybe you should start questioning if this marriage is worth saving. JMO.
I refuse to make anyone a priority in my life who considers me nothing more than an option.
You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.