Thanks for the responses.
I think that you need to point out that his job is not 24 hours a day while yours is. Then point out that if you were working as an accountant you would be making x dollars an hour. Then I would say "You can not afford me as an accountant, but you expect me to work for no salary and then complain about it?". I would then offer to go back to work full time, and let him stay home and take care of the kids. Tell him to remember that you are all doing your part as a family unit.
You sound like a great wife, with the hardest job in the world.
Yes, it is 24/7. He does help with the kids. I didn't mean to make it sound like he doesn't do anything. The kids adore him and he really is a great dad. But I do feel taken for granted sometimes.
Originally Posted by southernmagnolia View Post
I'm sorry to bring it up, but some of what you are describing are commonalities of an affair. Have you considered this? It may not be but perhaps you should do some investigating. Maybe it's a middle age thing or job stress or unhappiness with something else but you should at least consider that possibility.
Him being critical in aspects that he wasn't before. Lack of interest in sex are yellow flags.
That thought has crossed my mine. But the possibility hurts to much to think about. I really am crazy in love with my husband. That is why I am so hurt by his recent behavior. I really do want to get this behind us before it changes my feelings for him.
Here's another take on this. You have a very full plate, perhaps he feels left out. He wants attention, he wants you to stroke his ego by telling him how great he is. When you don't give him the attention he wants he critcizes what you are good at as a way to hurt you.
You aren't giving him what he wants so he is withdrawing away from you. This is why the quality of sex has diminished.
That is a possibility, we are both very busy. Me with the kids and him with his job. Maybe we need to work at finding more couple time.
It may be as simple as he feels "taken for granted." He pumps out the money that allows you to live a comfortable lifestyle. Perhaps he wants more "credit" for his contributions?
Sounds like you have resentments coming from both sides of the relationship.
Are you able to pawn off the kids for a night? (I know, almost impossible with 2-year-old twins) But if you can, get them out on a Friday night and have him come home just to you. You focus on him, tell him how grateful you are for everything he does, that you want to focus on him and rock his world.
The husband, money-earner sometimes get forgotten in the hustle/bustle of kid-raising. (Yes, I know SAHMs are taken for granted, as well) But my advice would be to make a grand gesture that deflates the balloon of budding resentment that he has brewing.
Tex, it is already taken care of
The boys are with my parents and the twins with his sister. Tonight it will be just the two of us and hopefully we can clear the air.