Hello all. I'm new here. I've been reading for a while, but finally got the guts to post.
I am so miserable in my marriage now. Married for 14 yrs with two small kids (both now in school all day). And this is why...
Over the years my wife has turned into a slob. I'm sorry to say that, but it's true. I work 9-10 hours a day and come home that looks like a bomb hit it. She works a total of 3 hours a day.
I feed the kids in the morning and get them dressed for school and take them, then when I get home from work, I start dinner.
She says because she doesn't know what to cook anymore (like there's only so many ways you can cook mac & cheese and chicken strips.
She has put on 98 lbs. since our marriage where I have lost 35. I shower every morning where I'm lucky if she showers once a week (and that is after I remind her how long its been.) She no longer wears any make up or does her hair, and has no problem in going out like that. To say I'm no longer physically attracted to her is an understatement.
She is addicted to tv and the soaps. She has read one book in our 14 yrs. of marriage.
It coming to the point where she doesn't do anything unless I tell her to. It like having three kids. And I hate it, and starting to hate her.
There is just so much for me to say, that I don't know how to say it all.
The big problem is that she doesn't see anything wrong with her appearance. She thinks she looks good!!! And I am ashamed. Going out with greasy hair in public is just rude.
I have been the best husband I can be. Provided a nice home, nice clothes, lots of elegant jewellery and fur coats, nice cars, lingerie, the works. I spend lots of time with the kids playing and doing homework, taking them out for bike rides, and games. And she is for ever complimenting me on how good I am with the kids, and how handsome I am, that it really bothers me, and I've asked her to stop. I have done my best, but I can't go on any more.
I have clearly let her know how I feel and nothing works. And I find myself getting abusive verbally just out of shear frustration ("have you climbed on the scale lately? You look like you just woke up from the grave. Can you at least wash your face?" and stuff like that.) There was a time when I cared about her ego and tried to be supportive while suggesting ways to improve her image, but now I don't care anymore. I know she loves me, but I can't deal with her slobbiness anymore.
Please understand that I'm not looking for her to be a Barbie, but to keep herself clean and presentable, with proper fitting clothes, to teach the kids proper grooming habits, and to keep a somewhat tidy house. Is that too much to ask? Every spare minute I have is spent cooking, cleaning and doing the laundry.
HELP HELP HELP!!!!! PLEASE!!!
I am so miserable in my marriage now. Married for 14 yrs with two small kids (both now in school all day). And this is why...
Over the years my wife has turned into a slob. I'm sorry to say that, but it's true. I work 9-10 hours a day and come home that looks like a bomb hit it. She works a total of 3 hours a day.
I feed the kids in the morning and get them dressed for school and take them, then when I get home from work, I start dinner.
She says because she doesn't know what to cook anymore (like there's only so many ways you can cook mac & cheese and chicken strips.
She has put on 98 lbs. since our marriage where I have lost 35. I shower every morning where I'm lucky if she showers once a week (and that is after I remind her how long its been.) She no longer wears any make up or does her hair, and has no problem in going out like that. To say I'm no longer physically attracted to her is an understatement.
She is addicted to tv and the soaps. She has read one book in our 14 yrs. of marriage.
It coming to the point where she doesn't do anything unless I tell her to. It like having three kids. And I hate it, and starting to hate her.
There is just so much for me to say, that I don't know how to say it all.
The big problem is that she doesn't see anything wrong with her appearance. She thinks she looks good!!! And I am ashamed. Going out with greasy hair in public is just rude.
I have been the best husband I can be. Provided a nice home, nice clothes, lots of elegant jewellery and fur coats, nice cars, lingerie, the works. I spend lots of time with the kids playing and doing homework, taking them out for bike rides, and games. And she is for ever complimenting me on how good I am with the kids, and how handsome I am, that it really bothers me, and I've asked her to stop. I have done my best, but I can't go on any more.
I have clearly let her know how I feel and nothing works. And I find myself getting abusive verbally just out of shear frustration ("have you climbed on the scale lately? You look like you just woke up from the grave. Can you at least wash your face?" and stuff like that.) There was a time when I cared about her ego and tried to be supportive while suggesting ways to improve her image, but now I don't care anymore. I know she loves me, but I can't deal with her slobbiness anymore.
Please understand that I'm not looking for her to be a Barbie, but to keep herself clean and presentable, with proper fitting clothes, to teach the kids proper grooming habits, and to keep a somewhat tidy house. Is that too much to ask? Every spare minute I have is spent cooking, cleaning and doing the laundry.
HELP HELP HELP!!!!! PLEASE!!!