Re: Same Sex Emotional Affair - Is This Possible?
I introduced my Wife to an old highschool female friend of mine, who is a massage therapist. Shortly thereafter, my wife and I went thru the worst several months of our entire 17 yr marriage. My Wife had always adored me, and put me on a pedestal that I honestly didn't deserve. Think co-dependence, she needed and trusted me too much. I even told her so a few times. We always had a very good sex life, but my wife had problems reaching orgasm unless she'd had a few drinks.
Her new friend was very "spiritual" (think Hippy Heaven lifestyle) and bi-sexual. I sincerely believe my wife would never cheat on me w another man. Anyway, after a few months of their once a week paid massage appts where they would hang out and chat for an hour or two after the massage, I started noticing my wife wouldn't be where she said she was. "I'm running to the bank and to our wholesale account to make a payment" except she never made it to either location. She also started hiding her phone, keeping her phone on her person at all times. She got very distanced from me, and eventually it escalated into her kicking me out for a few weeks even, so she could "find herself".
Short version, I fond out she was spending 4-6 days per week w her friend, not the one day a week I knew about. She had no reason to hide this from me? What do I care if she wants to hang out w her friends? I'm not controlling, I don't care what she does w her time. Then on New Years Eve, she left her phone on the counter and I looked thru it. I was shocked! They had been texting eachother "good morning gorgeous" "good morning sexy" etc every single morning 7 days per week for months. I have a real problem w this, I feel that your spouse should be the first person you greet in the mornings. And of course, she had been very careful to hide all of this.
I confronted her, she denied everything. I told her I read her phone, she was very angry (why? We've never hidden our phones from eachother??). She said they were "just friends" and that I was being an *******. The secret meetings & texts continued for the next 2 months, until our marriage was truly on the verge of ending. Finally, she broke down and admitted she had (in her words) "An unhealthy attachment".
She offered to stop seeing her friend, but asked if I was ok w her still getting the weekly massages. I don't want to control her, so to this day they still do weekly professional massages. (which drive me up the wall!).
Another huge aspect; my wife during this time blossomed into a sexual monster! Most guys would be happy, and I won't deny that I love the multiple orgasms on cue, the constant need for sex, the crazy use of toys. My problem is, she didn't learn all this w me. I sincerely believe something sexual happened to unleash my Wife's sexual potential. Perhaps she has orgasms on the massage table, and learned how to finally orgasm while sober. Even that, tho somewhat innocent, drives me nuts that she would hide it from me.