In-laws and Holidays - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 12-08-2015, 03:43 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 69
In-laws and Holidays


I was wondering if you all could give me some advice. I have been married over four years now and this year I don't feel like going to the holidays with my husbands family. Two separate holidays, mom and dad are divorced. I have nothing on my side because my parents are deceased. Anyway before we got married I felt very included in his family and felt very welcomed. Since we married it changed so much it feels like it was a act to get me down the isle. Each year it has gotten worse. Last year at his dad's, I don't think 5 words were said to me if that. And I wasn't invited to Easter at hos mom's. I am not told about Holidays till last minute she is to busy to remember to tell me but everyone else knows.

It has come to the point my husband no longer mentions anything because he knows she probably hasn't told me or invited me. And I don't bother talking to him about it because he is a real Mamas boy and his whole family does no wrong. Well I feel they don't acknowledge me all year and then I should just be expected at Christmas. I just feel bad around these people.

I'm not expecting my husband not to attend his family get togethers, I just no longer have the desire to the way they act toward me. Am I being wrong?

Any advice would be great, thank you!

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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 12-08-2015, 03:56 PM
SecondTime'Round's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 4,213
Re: In-laws and Holidays

Have you tried to figure out why you are treated this way??

If you truly love someone you want that person to have the freedom to become everything they seek. You want your partner to soar, not to imprison them. - Pluto2
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 12-08-2015, 04:39 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 69
Re: In-laws and Holidays

Actually I forgot to put this part in, this is the weird part. There was no falling out. No fight no nothing. Like I mentioned it was just like I mentioned before I married their son they were all "oh this oh that involve me in eveything, talk to me all the time", after I married him it has just got worse and worse as the years have went on to where they don't really know me unless they need a favor from me it's like I don't exisit.
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 12-08-2015, 04:44 PM
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,136
Re: In-laws and Holidays

I'm confused about this part - "It has come to the point my husband no longer mentions anything because he knows she probably hasn't told me or invited me."

When my family has an event, they let me know and I tell my H. They don't invite him separately.
Do you mean that if they tell your husband about it but not you, you aren't invited?

With talking to you, do you sit with them and try to join the conversations?
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 12-08-2015, 04:57 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: New York
Posts: 1,369
Re: In-laws and Holidays

I find this strange also, if my H's family invite us to an event, the invite is usually told to my husband. He then, informs me of the event/invite. If he is invited that just means that as a family we are invited also. Unless, it's a formal event like a wedding reception and the kids are not invited. HIs family always invites us as a family.

Are you sure your H is not delivering the invites given to him and to be passed on to you. Because he is too dense to understand that he is suppose to pass it alone to you.

I would have a talk with your MIL and ask her if she has an issue with you. If you have done or said something that she took offense to.

Or did your husband related something to them that makes them wary of you?
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