09-03-2011, 12:19 PM
Join Date: Dec 2008
| | Weight issue/judgement
I am here because i am increasingly feeling unattracted to my husband of 12 years. He's always been an attractive guy. He was very thin when i met him and has maintained that ... For the most part. However, he recent started working out (cardio only) and he's just skeletal. He has always seemed feminine in some ways, but this gaunt look is just making me see him as gay. We have had our "are you gay?" discussions. He says he is not even though he will talk about male actors in a way I'm not comfortable with. When we went to marriage counseling, i brought this skeletal/starving himself stuff up. The therapist said it was none of my business and i was judging. I said i was worried! I even got him some free personal training sessions to give him some progressional guidance. The trainer told me that my husband is stubborn and he was worried he might break. It's so bad i can tell by his horrible breath that he's going into ketosis.
Before you judge .. You should know i was thrilled when he was even 10 or 15 pounds over weight. I think he looked more like a "man". If he was 40 lbs overweight... I'd feel better. He just seems so weak. He even walks all slumped over and appears like he's insecure. I'm sure he's just exhausted from low calorie loads!
I have many other issues with my husband .. But i must say this is really putting a wedge between my feelings for him. I don't want to kiss him because his breath smells (he has been to dentist and brushes all the time..it's ketosis) and i just feel he looks feminine and acts gay.
When I've discussed this with him openly ... He just says that he likes being this thin. Yesterday his jeans were falling far past his waist and i was stunned. These jeans fit 2 months ago. He now has a 30/32 waist. He's 6'3 and less than 160 pounds. When i said "wow, you lost more weight!". He said ... Yeah how about that. He was happy. I reserved comment because the therapist said i can't comment.
How do i change my feelings?
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