questionme2

My husband and I just got into a big fight. I need an outsider opinion. We moved and we packed boxes with packing paper. LOTS is it. Newspaper and real packing paper from the movers. My husband is taking all of this paper and carefully folding it and stacking it. He wants to save it. Meanwhile the house is chock full of FILLED boxes because he's soooooo busy folding newspaper and packing paper. I know I'm not in favor of this whatsoever. He basically told me too bad, I am doing it. My blood is boiling. What is normal here? Maybe I'm out of line, but I'm out of patience with all of his anal tendencies. I spent the day organizing the kitchen yesterday. He decided to move everything to where HE wanted it. Plates, pans, glasses... All re organized HIS way.
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sigma1299

Not sure I'd call that abnormal. A little compulsive maybe? It also sounds kind of passive aggressive? Sounds like the two of you need to stop and communicate.
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questionme2

We do communicate. Well, I definitely ask him to listen to my perspective. But ... Even though he listens... He doesn't change a thing. There is no mediation.


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that_girl

Sounds like my ex who was a hoarder. I hope your husband isn't one!

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Prodigal

Okay, I'm not a shrink, but why don't you google "obsessive-compulsive disorder." It sure sounds like he fits the bill ...

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I refuse to make anyone a priority in my life who considers me nothing more than an option.

You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.

questionme2

Yes. He shows those symptoms. This is a true story. Tell me what you think. We were in marriage counseling. The therapist was trying to get to know him. He started telling her how he is a very visual person and little things make big differences to him. He pointed to a picture frame on her little end table. He told her he was having a hard time concentrating through the session because the frame was not perfectly symetrical. She didn't react at all, but that made me think... I am married to a freak who spends more time worried about the angle of a frame... Than our marital problems!!!

Ugh. This is just tough.


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Prodigal

OCD is a treatable mental disorder. Have you ever seen the movie with Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt called "As Good As It Gets"? Nicholson plays the part of an author who has major OCD. He MUST sit at the same table at the same restaurant and have the same waitress (played by Hunt). He lines up bars of Neutrogena soap in his bathroom medicine cabinet, opens a bar, washes his hands, and tosses the bar in the trash.

OCD

Get another therapist. For cryin' out loud, the man's disorder was screaming at her, and she didn't attempt to get him to recognize that something was amiss? Your husband may not even think he has a disorder, and he may dig in his heels and deny the problem. In the meantime, the best you can do is realize this is a real issue and find out what you can do to live with it.

OCD also manifests itself in hoarding. Have you ever seen the show on TLC about hoarders. I can't watch it, because it creeps me out. I spent two months trying to help a hoarder "clean" up her home. She would only let me go so far in tossing stuff, then she dug in her heels and refused to let me go near the stockpile in her living room.

It's a difficult disorder, but if your husband was put on the correct meds, it would help. Any chance you can get him to listen to you?

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I refuse to make anyone a priority in my life who considers me nothing more than an option.

You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.

Runs like Dog

OCD is partially an anxiety disorder, partially an anger and control issue, partially a compulsion disorder.

What do you thing calms your husband down?

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fight back

questionme2

Well, I don't know what calms him down, to be honest. He never seems like he needs to calm down. He doesn't "seem" anxious, even though I realize that it's a byproduct of his disorder. His individual therapist said he doesn't need to be on meds.. Not severe enough. But I can tell you this is tough to live with. He does have anger issues and he did have a problem with porn...he says that has been rectified. But he gets irritable/angry when things don't go as he had planned. It's stressful to be around him.



UOTE=Runs like Dog;415604]OCD is partially an anxiety disorder, partially an anger and control issue, partially a compulsion disorder.

What do you thing calms your husband down?[/QUOTE]
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