lonakoni

hi all--

so i've been having a long term conflict with my wife. we're recently married (less than 6 months). the problem is this: she says i constantly interrupt her in public, in front of other people, when we're spending time with friends. more than that, she says she feels embarrassed a lot in front of our friends, b/c she feels i don't give her attention and don't really listen to her. i'm just busy in my own head. i'm not sensitive. an example: today we were out all day. we need to cook something tonight for a lunch party tomorrow. she said she wanted to go home around 6pm. it was 6 -- we left, and went to drop off a couple friends. at one of the friends' houses, the friend invited us up to her place for coffee. we went up, briefly, despite my wife insisting that we needed to go home. in the apartment, our friend offered us coffee. wanted us to stay and chat. my wfie said "NO no no, we have to go, i'm sorry". we have to cook for tomorrow. i was sitting and jokingly said, "oh im ok! i can stay." and the friend took it seriously. we ended up staying. my wife is so so angry, claiming that i totally embarrased her in front of the other two friends, making it clear that i couldnt listen or understand her.

i think i agree with her and i feel terrible abotu this kind of behavior. what should i do? it comes up all the time. and i feel totally stuck and not sure of a way out and i'm tired of the conflict. how to change my behavior? thanks.

SockPuppet

Keep that thought in the foreground and you will see change slowly but surely. It takes time to change behaviour and your admitance is step #1.