How do I get out?
How do I get out of this marriage?? I am 30 years old and have been married 1 year for the first time. I don't know how to get out of this marriage. My husband is what everyone calls a "nice guy" and I'm not supposed to want to leave him. How dare I want to leave him???? But I can't do this anymore. I'm tired of feeling like the bad one in this marriage. I'm tired of feeling like there is something wrong with me. I'm tired of being scared of him. He has never really hurt me physically. But, everytime something goes wrong, I'm afraid that is what is going to happen.
We've been married one year this past July. His 2nd. My 1st. He has no contact with his 2 children from his previous marriage. He made me believe when we were dating that they were very close, but his job did not allow him to see them much. His job has changed since then. They want nothing to do with him.
We've had sex 3 times since being married. I'm 30. I've had sex before. I've enjoyed sex before. I hate being with him. I hate being alone and not having sex with him. We had sex 3 times since we were married ONE of those times was on our honeymoon. Did not happen on our wedding night because he yelled at me on our wedding night and then left. We had sex once on our honeymoon and then once 2 months later and now he sleep on the couch. He blames that on me, although I have begged him over and over and over to sleep in our bed. Now, he's been gone so long I don't even want him near me in our bed.
So, we go out in our small town on the weekend. And then he drinks and we fight. But, according to him, it's always my fault. Our marriage counselor, who we saw for just a few weeks, told him he shouldn't drink because he only has 2 emotions. Happy and Mad. But, he still drinks. and when he drinks, everything he has ever been upset about comes out and it's all my fault. I"m to blame for everything. He tells me I'm crazy, and that I'm a drunk, and that I don't deserve him. Every time he drinks. And then for 2 days after he gives me the silent treatment until I can't stand it anymore and have to talk to him. Am I living with a child???? Or am I living with a man??
I know that if I divorce him to move on, he will tell me that I have let him down and that I told him I never wanted to be divorced. But, this is not a marriage!!!! This isn't even roommates!!!!! He has also told me that I can't do this to him. That he can't go through another divorce!!!!! How is that my fault??? But, he knows that I will take that personally and want to not hurt him in the future.
Please, please, please help me figure out what I can do. I do have a great job. I am 30 and have no children to take care of. But, I do live away from my family and am on my own at this time. We live in a house provided by his job. I pay most the bills. We live 12 miles from town. I cannot drive due to breaking my foot. How can I get out and what can I do???
I've posted before and some know my story, but I need advice and need to know that there are others out there that are going through the same **** as me.....
Last edited by ku1980rose; 09-04-2011 at 12:27 PM.