I heard from a friend who wrote on here before that this site is really good for advice so i thought i would vent lol. I met this guy recently and we really hit it off. We talked on the phone for 3 hours and had great conversation. Things moved pretty quickly.The next day he asked me to the park and then out to dinner. At the park we talked and had amazing chemistry and walked around. While we were sitting on the bench talking he kissed me. I felt such sparks. I haven't felt that sort of connection and I find it is really hard to come by. After dinner we talked in his car and then kissed a lot again. He said he had an amazing time and after the date we text saying how much fun we had.
The next day he was very engaging and asked if i wanted to come stay over. I went over and although not planned we had sex. He text me the next morning after i left and things seemed okay. I told him during the day about some health stuff i am going through (he knew some of my health stuff as i like to be up front with guys i am dating about it), but i was just told 2 days ago i need to be screened for cancer due to some symptoms I have been having lately.
I started thinking if i was being selfish dating someone with all the health stuff i have going on, and stupidly told him this even though i really like him. I got a bit emotional after getting the call, and how i didn’t know if it was fair to start out us dating with him hearing all about my health stuff and sort of being caught up in it. I said i really liked him because i do and this was in no way a let down or brush off. I was just concerned it was a bad way to start things and too much for someone at the beginning.
He came back saying my health issues didn’t bother him but what did bother him a little is how i seem to be falling quickly. He said he felt pressure so early on for it to work out and if it didn’t he wouldn’t want to hurt me, but he really likes me, and he didn’t want to come off as a jerk or being mean but he just wanted to be honest.
Conversation rest of the day didn’t seem as frequent and engaging as usual, and when i told him later about the cancer screening he just said “oh when is that,?” and when i told him he didn’t reply. After a while i felt a bit paranoid and said “I get the feeling you are overwhelmed by my health stuff,” to which he just replied “been napping.”
I didn’t reply for an hour as i just felt the lack of engaging showed lack of interest, and then he just sent another message saying “Some beautiful young lady kept me from sleeping as much as an old man needs,” he is 8 years older than me so i guess he is making a joke about being old. He then proceeded to tell me that the health stuff does overwhelm him a little because I seem to be worrying a lot about it so maybe we should just cool things off. I got really upset when he said this because I felt like he was blowing me off and we had just slept together, so I told him I felt like now we had slept together he had got what he wanted.
The next morning I text him apologizing about what I said and said it wasn't fair for me to assume he just wanted that and we could cool things off if that is what he wanted. He then responded saying he thought I was a great girl and blah blah blah but the comment I made about him just wanting sex turned him off and although it looks bad timing wise in terms of him saying this after we had sex, he couldn't make himself feel a way he didn't.
This upset me more and I proceeded the whole day to explain to him that I know I came across a bit overwhelming with all the health worries but I just wanted to be honest with him, and I guess I got really caught up in all my emotions and may have also come on a little strong.
It then got a bit ugly, and he went from telling me we could have salvaged things in a few weeks if the dust had settled and that was the plan he had (although he told me he was turned off and sorry it didn't work out), to telling me basically he didn't want to talk to me anymore and he was sorry if he wasn't clear enough about that, and once I gave him my address to send my earrings to if I wanted him to (as I left them at his house), that i would never hear from him again and we could just delete each others numbers.
I went back saying I just hated how hateful this had become and I didn't want to end things like this and I was sorry for pushing him and not just letting things be, to which he never replied. I know this sounds a big drama, and there isn't much advice to be offered, but I just felt like we met at a really emotional time in my life when things went from great to ugly in 4 days, and I feel completely bummed out because I feel like I ruined things with him.
I want my earrings back but at this point I don't really want to text him again with my address because I just feel like he will get annoyed at me, and I am still very upset and still need to calm down. I hate bad feeling with people and I just wish we could have ended as friends. I feel like this could have been revisited in a few weeks when things had settled, but now I just feel like he thinks I am crazy and hates me
The next day he was very engaging and asked if i wanted to come stay over. I went over and although not planned we had sex. He text me the next morning after i left and things seemed okay. I told him during the day about some health stuff i am going through (he knew some of my health stuff as i like to be up front with guys i am dating about it), but i was just told 2 days ago i need to be screened for cancer due to some symptoms I have been having lately.
I started thinking if i was being selfish dating someone with all the health stuff i have going on, and stupidly told him this even though i really like him. I got a bit emotional after getting the call, and how i didn’t know if it was fair to start out us dating with him hearing all about my health stuff and sort of being caught up in it. I said i really liked him because i do and this was in no way a let down or brush off. I was just concerned it was a bad way to start things and too much for someone at the beginning.
He came back saying my health issues didn’t bother him but what did bother him a little is how i seem to be falling quickly. He said he felt pressure so early on for it to work out and if it didn’t he wouldn’t want to hurt me, but he really likes me, and he didn’t want to come off as a jerk or being mean but he just wanted to be honest.
Conversation rest of the day didn’t seem as frequent and engaging as usual, and when i told him later about the cancer screening he just said “oh when is that,?” and when i told him he didn’t reply. After a while i felt a bit paranoid and said “I get the feeling you are overwhelmed by my health stuff,” to which he just replied “been napping.”
I didn’t reply for an hour as i just felt the lack of engaging showed lack of interest, and then he just sent another message saying “Some beautiful young lady kept me from sleeping as much as an old man needs,” he is 8 years older than me so i guess he is making a joke about being old. He then proceeded to tell me that the health stuff does overwhelm him a little because I seem to be worrying a lot about it so maybe we should just cool things off. I got really upset when he said this because I felt like he was blowing me off and we had just slept together, so I told him I felt like now we had slept together he had got what he wanted.
The next morning I text him apologizing about what I said and said it wasn't fair for me to assume he just wanted that and we could cool things off if that is what he wanted. He then responded saying he thought I was a great girl and blah blah blah but the comment I made about him just wanting sex turned him off and although it looks bad timing wise in terms of him saying this after we had sex, he couldn't make himself feel a way he didn't.
This upset me more and I proceeded the whole day to explain to him that I know I came across a bit overwhelming with all the health worries but I just wanted to be honest with him, and I guess I got really caught up in all my emotions and may have also come on a little strong.
It then got a bit ugly, and he went from telling me we could have salvaged things in a few weeks if the dust had settled and that was the plan he had (although he told me he was turned off and sorry it didn't work out), to telling me basically he didn't want to talk to me anymore and he was sorry if he wasn't clear enough about that, and once I gave him my address to send my earrings to if I wanted him to (as I left them at his house), that i would never hear from him again and we could just delete each others numbers.
I went back saying I just hated how hateful this had become and I didn't want to end things like this and I was sorry for pushing him and not just letting things be, to which he never replied. I know this sounds a big drama, and there isn't much advice to be offered, but I just felt like we met at a really emotional time in my life when things went from great to ugly in 4 days, and I feel completely bummed out because I feel like I ruined things with him.
I want my earrings back but at this point I don't really want to text him again with my address because I just feel like he will get annoyed at me, and I am still very upset and still need to calm down. I hate bad feeling with people and I just wish we could have ended as friends. I feel like this could have been revisited in a few weeks when things had settled, but now I just feel like he thinks I am crazy and hates me